Have you ever daydreamed about life on the road? If you are like countless Americans who have sat through reruns of “B.J. and the Bear” or “Smokey and the Bandit” and dreamed of such a romantic life, consider the following.

“LOADS: Loved Ones And Drivers Support,” an Internet site, which offers support and much more to the families of truckers, put out this anonymous column in one of their newsletters. It purports to be a notice that appears in an international corporate communication. With the permission of LOADS, I offer it here:

“Effective immediately, every employee is required to remain in the office 24 hours a day starting Sunday afternoons at five. Each employee will remain in the office and will not go home until 5 p.m. Friday. There will be a $5 per night parking fee for your vehicles in our lot. Occasions may arise when employees will not be allowed to go home for the weekend. In these cases, we will attempt to make arrangements that the employee be home the following weekend.

“Each employee must bring all clothing and personal necessities that they require on Sunday. The company will provide storage space approximately 2 feet wide by 2 feet deep by 5 feet high for the employee to store their personal items. The employee should be aware, however, that this space is subject to inspection by company or government personnel. Employees will be given a 72-by-48 mattress to sleep on. Employees must provide their own bedding. Their sleeping environment will be very noisy and there will be likely be several interruptions

of sleep during each evening.

“All personal phone calls will be billed at a rate of 32 cents per minute with a 25-cent surcharge.

“Public restrooms, bathing facilities and towels will be provided and a fee will be charged for these services. Employees must bring their own food for the week or eat at a fast-food restaurant. In no case will the employee be allowed to eat at home. During your non-working hours, the employee will be allowed to participate in any activity they choose, however, under no circumstances will the employee be allowed to participate in any activities in which their children and/or spouse participate.

“Furthermore, each employee will be required to maintain a record of how they spend each minute of their day. These records will be submitted daily to the company and audited by company personnel. The amount of time each employee is given to complete their work will be strictly regulated and, occasionally, the employee will be given more work than they can complete in the allotted time. You must adjust your records to show that you completed the tasks in the time allotment. Any violations of the regulations will result in a reprimand or termination.

“Employees will be subject to random drug and alcohol testing and, of course, none of these substances will be allowed while the employee is in the office.”

How many of you would accept such conditions of employment? Believe it or not, there are those who not only accept, but also relish them. They are a special, often misunderstood segment of the American working world, almost a subculture. They are American truckers.

To paraphrase the theme song from the old television show, “Moving On”: “It takes a special breed to be a truck driving person, and a steady hand to haul that load behind.”

Truck drivers today come in all shapes, sizes, colors and sexes. Members of this “rainbow coalition” all have one thing in common; they are all members of that “special breed.”

In my experience, this breed is characterized by certain wanderlust, an inability or refusal to measure up to the status quo. He/she is a person who functions better on his or her own as opposed to being under the gun in an office or factory setting. They are persons who very much care about measuring up in their own and their family’s eyes, but may care very little of how they appear to the eyes of others.

Sue Kemp is no exception. A driving veteran with 10 years seat time, she says she started driving because “it was something I always wanted to do. I could never be happy in an office. I’ve tried it. No way! I started out driving local P&D (pickup and delivery) and lasted 18 months, but even that wasn’t enough. I had to get out here.”

Sue now runs OTR (over the road) for Split Transfer out of Chicago, Ill. “I’ve been with them about a year and a half now. I love it.”

On the other side, many experienced drivers often complain about the lifestyle, the demands on self and family, and the stress. It is almost a truism in this business, “a complaining driver is a happy driver.” But, as in all truisms, there are limits.

Drivers are growing more and more unhappy, unsatisfied, disgusted. They are working harder, putting in more hours and making more and more sacrifices for what appears to be a steadily decreasing payback.

What are the issues that are sparking their interest and anger? What can be done? What is being done? What should be done?

I will continue to address these and other subjects in future columns. Until then keep the shiny side up and the greasy side down. Drive safely.

Guy Bourrie has been hauling on the highways for 20 years. He lives in Washington, Maine, and can be reached at [email protected].