The only thing more exciting than the New England Patriots winning the Super Bowl would be news that a platoon of U.S. Marines with itchy-trigger fingers have trained their weapons on a rock that Osama bin Laden has been hiding under for the past two years.

Bin Laden’s capture or demise – take your pick – as well as the Pats beating the Carolina Panthers would certainly make my Top 10 list of things to be thankful for in 2004.

Of course, both endeavors are a challenge to fulfill – especially with New England playing in Alamo country and the elusive bin Laden hiding in a dank cave along the vast and mountainous border of Pakistan.

But let’s turn our attention to New England’s finest and hope the world’s most-wanted terrorist will soon find a new home at Guantanamo Bay – courtesy of America’s armed services.

We all know there’s no place like home for our beloved Patriots. The crowd at Gillette Stadium in Foxboro is a ravenous, dedicated bunch who enjoy basking in record-cold temperatures while New England’s teeth-chattering opponents shiver on the sidelines.

Like the late Oliver Wendell Holmes said: “Home is where we love, where our feet may leave the door but never our hearts.”

The 20th century associate justice of the Supreme Court would undoubtedly stand by his remarks today when it comes to the home-field advantage in the NFL playoffs.

Too bad the Patriots must travel to Houston for a shot at the Super Bowl XXXVIII trophy. This is a cold-weather team that prospers when the thermometer dips below zero and snow makes the playing field more hazardous than driving over the Tobin Bridge during rush hour.

Playing in the neutral state of Texas could be a factor even though legions of Pats fans, who probably spent their life’s savings or took second mortgages on their houses, will be present to support coach Bill Belichick’s contingent.

Yes sir, Patriots fans will be treated to two weeks of unending hype about the two Super Powers. Everything from Willie McGinest’s take on the race for the White House to Ty Law’s favorite movie will be analyzed by thousands of journalists who will ask the same questions a thousand times.

Hey, who could blame a Patriot fan for maxing his credit cards to make the trip to Houston. I’d mow my next-door neighbor’s lawn or shovel his driveway for the rest of my life for a ticket to see this game.

Check out e-Bay and see what a pair of Super Bowl tickets are going for. The prices will make your head spin. And the bidding has begun. If you act now, you can purchase four tickets for $14,000. That offer expires in six days. Two tickets are going for high as $9,000. Hope you have deep pockets to swing such outlandish deals.

Things will get out of hand when it comes this game. Remember, this is the Super Bowl, and if you are fan with a ticket to Reliant Stadium, you are the envy of jealous friends and relatives. And just try explaining the outrageous price of a ticket to a fan who just dipped into his 401(k) to pay for having Super good time in Houston.

I wish I could afford to take 19th century journalist Horace Greeley’s advice: “Go West, young man.”

No such luck, though.

Tony Blasi is a staff editor who can be reached at tblasi@sunjournal.com

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