Nature is on the loose. Tornadoes rip Los Angeles, reducing the historic Hollywood sign to rubble. Hail heftier than pomegranate pummels Tokyo. Anyone brazen enough to walk the streets of New Delhi is snow-blind.

Within hours, your own Auburn apartment or Turner two-level will teeter on that edge of becoming oceanfront property – or flotsam.

Amazing stuff. Uh, honey, could you run this popcorn bucket to the lobby for a refill? Butter in the middle this time, please.

It’s Memorial Day weekend, time for the motion picture industry to release a blockbuster designed to horrify us, infuriate us or leave us in a spasm of sidesplitting laughter.

Or, in the case of the movie “The Day After Tomorrow,” all the above.

Still reeling from what many in its circle consider the inexplicable success of “The Passion of the Christ,” Hollywood hurls a Hail Mary with its own political football: our good friend, global warming.

What’s reel, or real?

That’s right. Shame on me for not being enlightened enough to comprehend this threat. Shame on the White House for ignoring warning signs while pressing the flesh with Big Oil. Shame on us all for our self-absorption.

Pass the Goobers, babe.

In the latest disaster vehicle by director Roland Emmerich (“Independence Day,” “Godzilla”), a climatologist played by Dennis Quaid is one of two people in our blissfully ignorant world to see that global temperature changes have society on the eve of extinction.

To fit the time constraints of his $125-million infomercial, Emmerich accelerates the catastrophic timetable by hundreds of years. So the real danger ensues when dimmer bulbs in the audience rush home to rebuild Y2K-inspired underground bunkers.

Frighteningly, state and national political personalities actually are sounding off on the film’s behalf, sprinkling gasoline on the what-ifs and lending credibility.

Former Vice President Al Gore held a press conference to remind the electorate that he warned us in his long-ago environmentalist essay, “Earth in the Balance.”

Gov. John Baldacci celebrated the release with his own public pronouncement.

“Global warming remains a serious threat to our environment and to our children’s future,” Baldacci said in a news release. “My administration is taking various steps to avert the disastrous consequences of global warming and climate change shown in the movie.”

In the movie? In the movie, we’re toast.

Pass the Slush Puppie, sweetie. Boy, I sure hope the concession stand gets its power from clean energy sources.

Where’s the coastline now?

The film is far-fetched and cartoonish, unintentionally mocking its cause. It also perpetuates the myth that nobody in Washington acknowledges the issue. Truth is, the Pentagon released a report last October, stating that gradual change in the earth’s climate and temperature could impact the world’s food supply and international security.

Twenty-two pages thick, that report is accessible by an Internet search for “An Abrupt Climate Change Scenario and Its Implications for United States National Security.”

While even liberal scientists have dismissed the sudden, irreversible end of “The Day After Tomorrow” as bunk, they warn of realistic repercussions for our children.

So do what the Hollywood elite thought you were incapable of doing with “Passion” and process your thoughts on “Tomorrow” without anger, alarm and prejudice. Respond practically. Drive and consume less, when possible. Push your employer to do the same.

Leave the worrying to the professionals.

“If the world’s scientists prove correct, global warming could prove disastrous for Maine, particularly for our ski, forestry and agricultural industries and for coastal property owners,” Baldacci said. “The good news is that it won’t happen overnight, as depicted in the movie.”

Pass the Pepto, darling.

Kalle Oakes is staff columnist. He may be reached by e-mail at [email protected].