DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, “Ron,” and I have been together for six years and have lived together for two. We are planning to be married.

I work close to home and sometimes Ron meets me for lunch nearby. When he drops me off, he insists on kissing me in the car in front of the building, a long, lingering tongue kiss. I think it is inappropriate, because my bosses and co-workers have windows right there, and there are often clients outside.

When I try to pull away, or explain why it makes me uncomfortable, Ron gets upset and says I must be ashamed of him or something. That’s not true! I would simply rather keep such displays of affection confined to our house, or at least away from my workplace. Am I wrong? – EMBARRASSED IN BOSTON

DEAR EMBARRASSED: You are right to be embarrassed. What your boyfriend is doing isn’t showing affection; it is displaying the extent of his insecurity. By kissing you in such an inappropriate way, he is trying to show others the control he has over you. To insist on doing it after you have told him it makes you uncomfortable is insensitive, immature and disrespectful of your feelings. Please consider putting marriage on “hold” until your boyfriend grows up, which may be never.

DEAR ABBY: I am married, with a 12-year-old daughter. We share a three-bedroom apartment with a lady who is a friend of the family. She is always doing dishes, even though I have repeatedly requested that she not do so.

When she does the dishes, more than half of them are still dirty. What should I do about this? Continue to rewash them? It seems like a waste of effort and water. – FRUSTRATED IN WASHINGTON

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Try this: Assign another chore to this well-intentioned but vision-challenged lady. That way she will feel like she’s doing something useful – and you won’t have to worry about sanitation.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

To receive a collection of Abby’s most memorable – and most frequently requested – poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby – Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447.

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