FAIRFIELD (AP) – Kathy Tucker’s grief over the loss of her only son has been compounded by a flap with the school board.

Local school administrators have rejected Tucker’s request to let her daughter accept her son’s diploma when the Class of 2005 graduates from Lawrence High School next month.

Joseph W. Violette II, of Clinton, was a 17-year-old senior at Lawrence when he was killed in a car crash on a slippery road Jan. 10. He had earned all of the credits required for graduation a month earlier.

Tucker met with the vice principal, principal and superintendent, and ultimately went before the the entire school board.

“Basically, what I got is a letter. They did not feel it would be in the best interest for Lawrence High School for that to happen,” she said.

Her proposal was rejected because of a set of guidelines adopted by the School Administrative District 49 board last month. The rules dealing with memorializing deceased students were established by the board’s Policy Committee.

One of the provisions states that a diploma for a student who died in his or her senior year, but is eligible for graduation, is to be awarded in a private ceremony with the family. A deceased student can be recognized during commencement only with a moment of silence.

Class Night, the evening before graduation, is the only forum for memorializing the student by and for his or her classmates, according to the guidelines.

“We as his parents should be able to share in the joy and the celebration of his accomplishments, just like the parents of living children. We are struggling to get closure. The last two pieces are graduation and Class Night,” Tucker said.

Steven Grenier of Albion, the SAD 49 board chairman, said the policy was adopted after consultation with the Center for Grieving Children in Portland and with the state commissioner of education.

“Our policy met our goal to be respectful to all parties concerned,” Grenier said. “We tried to be respectful for all parties; the parents, the students, and I think this policy does that. We send our condolences. Its an emotional issue.”

Tucker, who lives in Winslow, said she has taken her plea for closure to her state representative, the attorney general, Pine Tree Legal and Gov. John Baldacci.

Joseph Violette Sr., Tucker’s ex-husband, said he supports the efforts of his former wife and of his daughter, Elizabeth Violette, a student at the University of Southern Maine.

He said he stands by their request to allow Elizabeth, 20, to accept the diploma on behalf of her late brother at graduation June 10.

“I support my daughter, and if the kids – his friends, his classmates – want that to happen, its their graduation,” he said.

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