Michael. Darlene. Christine. Jennifer. Isaac.

Do you know this group of people?

Better yet, do you know a person who knows these people so well that she or he would have worn a bracelet bearing each of their names?

If so, you’re about to make someone very happy. Pick up the phone and tell that person that you’ve found it. You know where the bracelet is.

It’s at the Lewiston South Station Post Office at 999 Lisbon St.

A customer found it on the floor more than a month ago, and the clerks have been hoping its owner would show up to retrieve it.

“It’s not just a junky bracelet,” said one clerk. “It’s obviously something very special.”

The phone number of the post office is 782-2889. It’s open from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Warning: If you’re someone simply looking to make a quick buck, don’t expect to go in there, list off the names and walk away with a free gift.

Because of the bracelet’s seemingly high value, the clerks have decided not to give it to anyone who cannot describe it.

– Lisa Chmelecki
Undress and celebrate

Mark this one on your calendar.

An Internet underwear company, www.freshpair.com, has proclaimed this Wednesday as National Underwear Day.

That’s right. Underwear Day.

The company sent out press briefs (pun intended) last week.

“National Underwear Day was created to bring attention to something almost everyone wears, but rarely gets the attention it deserves,” said Freshpair CEO Michael Kleinmann in the release.

The company estimates that Americans spend about $13 billion each year on underwear. To Freshpair, it’s too big a figure to ignore.

“We’ve taken underwear out of the dresser drawer and into the streets,” says the company’s Web site.

On Wednesday, models in New York will act as “underwear ambassadors,” polling people on the street and building “panty pride,” according to the company.

It’s billed as a “celebration of what lies beneath.”

Let’s hope it stays there.

– Daniel Hartill
L-A Deuce-less

It turns out, there are no men.

On the eve of the new movie “Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo” – bound, no doubt, to become a classic along the lines of “Bull Durham” and “The Godfather” – the Sun Journal put a query in the newspaper inviting ladies’ men to send in a picture and write a little bit about what it takes.

How to woo a dame.

How to command a room.

How to reel off just the right line to knock one out of the park each time.

The floor was wide open for the bragging, confident and suave. Not one person responded.

No one.

Either they don’t read the advice page, or they’re just not out there in L-A.

– Kathryn Skelton

Just desserts

Barely a selectmen’s meeting goes by in Farmington without baked goods, and Tuesday was no exception. Celebrating two birthdays, Chairwoman Mary Wright prepared a chiffon cake with chocolate fudge frosting, which she handed out to municipal employees, selectmen and the public.

Having earlier in the meeting approved the request of people working to build an alternative transportation trail, Wright was relieved they had left.

“I’m glad the healthy community is gone,” she said, as she doled out cake onto napkins. “I was feeling a little leery.”

And a word to residents who watch the meetings on Channel 11: If you’re wondering why you never see the goodies, the camera is off during the indulgence.

– Jodi Hausen

Bugged

Four townspeople and a dragonfly showed up at Wednesday night’s selectmen’s meeting in Canton.

The people were there to discuss business. The dragonfly, which looked like a widow skimmer, had other things on its mind.

About 45 minutes into the meeting, the brazen bug skimmed over the heads of Selectmen Lisa Cummings, Donald Hutchins and Rick Ray, and Administrative Assistant Kathy Hutchins.

They acted as if this were an everyday occurrence in Canton.

After all, the municipal building, which is in a floodplain, could be considered a lily pad since it has been partially submerged many times over the years.

Selectmen later entered into executive session, despite knowing that the room was bugged.

– Terry Karkos