Here’s some advice on break-ups from the book “How to Survive Dating” (Hundreds of Heads Books, www.hundredsofheads.com, $12.95), straight from people who’ve done it:

n “You know the relationship’s over when you start going around and around on the same issues and nothing gets resolved. After the first three months, some argument always comes up. It’s either going to be a lasting problem or something you can resolve. If you don’t resolve it, you know it’s over.”

– Barbara, Omaha, Neb.

n “If you think about not being with him as much as you think about being with him, that is a big problem. Relationships are a choice, and there are so many people that you could be with. I never understand why anyone would settle for anything less than perfect!” – Jenny B., New York City

n “The more developed I have become as a person, the less upsetting a break-up is. You realize that things happen for a reason, and you allow yourself a bit of time to heal, and then move on. Make sure you are over the ex, though, before you start a relationship with someone else. That’s the worst mess-up ever.”

– Anonymous, New York City

n “Don’t waste time on guys who don’t treat you the way you want to be treated, or make you over analyze yourself or the relationship. I dated a guy for way too long who didn’t treat me like I was worth anything, and it made me feel awful. The only reason I stuck with it was because I was afraid of breaking it off with him and then not finding anyone better. This is a terrible reason. If you are having these thoughts, run for your life. There is always someone better, even if it takes a while to find him or her. Everyone deserves the opportunity to be with a person who treats them well.”

– Bronlea Hawkins, Bellingham, Wash.



“Be rational when breaking up. Understand when it’s just not going to work. As soon as you’ve gone through two rounds of break-ups with a person, don’t go through a third. It didn’t work out twice for a pretty good reason.”

– Z.K., Minneapolis, Minn