Each December, that same annoying gift drumbeat pounds your brain: What to buy, what to buy, what to buy.
Perhaps a better approach this holiday season would be what NOT to buy.
Sure, there are gift guides galore. But there’s scant advice on how to avoid that uncomfortable moment when you hear the tepid response – “Oh, um, thank you” – and know that, once again, a giftee is less than enamored with your holiday present.
How tricky is gift buying? Consider this: The most important rule is, avoid whatever item is the year’s must-have gift.
“The message that gifts sends is, you’re just like everybody else. There’s nothing special about you,” said Sherri Athay, founder of Present Perfect Gift Consultants in Essex, Conn.
Remember a few seasons back, when that gotta-give gift was a bread machine?
“Probably half the people who got them don’t bake or even eat bread,” Athay pointed out.
Obviously, learning what gifts NOT to buy is a challenge. So strategizing by age group helps.
Babies are so cute that of course they deserve gifts, even if they are oblivious to the holidays. But please, no button-down-the-back clothing.
Babies are tricky
After having her children, surveying hundreds of moms worldwide on advice and products, and writing several books on parenthood, Stephanie Gallagher is an expert on items such as those little outfits.
“Babies’ heads are floppy for the first few months, and need support,” said Gallagher, aka The Shopping Mom, “but how do you support a baby’s head and button up the back at the same time?”
What’s more, when it’s time to change a diaper, the baby is laid down atop the buttons.
Gallagher, of Gaithersburg, Md., points out other handy baby-gifting hints on her Web site, www.theshoppingmom.com.
If it’s a child you’re buying for, know the exact age. Something too old or too young could either frustrate or insult your young pal, according to Greg Livingston, a vice president of WonderGroup Inc. in Cincinnati, a kid-oriented marketing agency.
So for an 8- or 10-year-old, “you don’t want to get a game or toy for a 5- or 6-year-old,” Livingston said. “That’s a real turnoff.”
Also, don’t go cheapo. “Buying a bargain basement version of a better-known toy can backfire,” Livingston said. “Having a product fall apart or stop working quickly can be a big letdown.”
It’ll be worse than a letdown if you set out to buy clothing for your teenager. Don’t even bother.
Clothes for teens? No!
“As anyone who was once a teenager remembers, when parents try to buy them clothing, things can go wrong very quickly,” said Rob Callender, trends director at Teenage Research Unlimited in Northbrook, Ill., dissecting the mysteries of teenagers since 1982.
As hard as parents may try, and as hip as they think they may be, “most just don’t have the attention or the wherewithal to keep track of what teens are wearing,” Callender explained. Style trends do indeed shift that quickly.
Baby boomers – those folks in midlife – pose more gifting challenges. They’re getting older, but aren’t yet old; they’re feeling young, but cautious about trying to look or act too young.
“We don’t want gifts that make us feel self-conscious about our age – like elastic-waist pants for women,” said Sharon Whiteley, CEO of ThirdAge Inc. in Boston, a marketing firm focusing on boomers. “On the flip side, we also don’t want, say, a miniskirt.”
Also nix the “age-defying” creams and exercise videos, which border on insulting. “Or any kind of retirement planning advice,” Whiteley said.
Buying for seniors may be the trickiest of all. Every individual ages differently, so while a 55-year-old may be struggling and homebound with serious health issues, an 85-year-old might be enjoying jogging and swimming and traveling.
‘Geezer’ is out
“So you can’t buy a generic gift for old people,” said Ronni Bennett of New York City. Her popular blog, Time Goes By – What It’s Really Like to Get Older, provides visitors of all ages a personal peek into the aging process at www.timegoesby.net.
“Shawls, fuzzy slippers, bathrobes, nightgowns should all be avoided for implying old folks don’t get dressed every morning,” Bennett said.
Also, no gag gifts that use words such as “coot” or “biddy” or “geezer.”
“They are ageist,” Bennett said.
And one more thing: No health-related products.
“Come on, it’s Christmas!” she added.
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