I’ve been waiting a while for this.

After a return to New England following 22 years living among angst-ridden sports fans near a pair of major western cities, it’s time to address the “Eastern bias” I constantly heard about during a long hiatus away from land of lobsters and maple syrup (which, by the way, is all our region is good for in the eyes of those living west of the Mississippi River.)

The bias feeds on the fact that Western sports fans endure a collective inferiority complex. Save for the San Francisco 49ers and Dallas Cowboys, simply not enough sports history has happened toward the Left Coast that can compare with legacies like the Red Sox, Celtics, Canadiens, Yankees or Bulls (yes, Chicago is eastern to those in the west). And, of course, they despise the “Eastern media elite.”

Denver Broncos fans, in particular, are nervous Nellies whose lives are way too dangerously tied to the foibles of their heroes. First, there is their tortured past, what with vertical-striped socks and coaches Lou Saban, John Ralston and Wade Phillips. Then came Mike Shanahan and a pair of consecutive Super Bowl victories. But for Broncos fans, that seems generations ago. Since then, Coloradans and their neighbors in the big surrounding square states are near-suicidal each year as they are deprived of the sight of the Lombardi trophy parading through “that dusty old cow town,” as Denver is referred by a leading sports columnist there. This year, Broncos fans define the meaning of the seven-year itch following that last Super Bowl victory in 1999, poised to spurn their long-time lover should they fail yet again.

Put it this way. Broncos fans would rather see their beloved Rocky Mountains crushed to dust rather than wait, oh, say 86 years for a championship. If there is any comparison to be made between the psyches of Broncos fans and an Eastern fan base, it is those of the Broncos and the Red Sox.

To say the locals love their Broncos is an understatement. Throughout the mountain time zone, where every other bumper bears a sticker blaring, “If God is not a Broncos fan, then why did He make sunsets orange?” the Broncos are all that matter. If a football team is not the Broncos, it doesn’t exist. A particular rabid Broncos fan friend watches no other football save his kid’s Pop Warner team.

“Watch the Pats, what’s the point?” he muses. “They’re not the Broncos.” This is the mindset of an entire region so desperate for another Super Bowl win, they would trade it for their first-borns, or skis, whichever they might hold more dear.

The point is, Broncos fans may be Broncos fans, but they’re not football fans.

In their minds, John Elway is the only quarterback who ever lived. His ghost still hangs heavy in the thin mile-high air, and fans’ blind commitment to Shanahan has continued Jim Jones-esque since they drank the Kool Aid with his hiring in 1995.

But, football fans, that was then and this is now. I can tell you, their patience is wearing thin. The brow-beating and teeth-gnashing is reaching a crescendo on the high plains, and if Jake “The Snake” Plummer can’t deliver this year, he will surely be cattle-prodded all the way to Dodge City.

Broncos fans remain insecure in their shiny new stadium, the awkwardly-named Invesco Field at Mile High. To this day, it is overshadowed by its raucous predecessor, the noble Mile High Stadium. And they remain haunted by recent seasons where they race out of the paddock, only to fade down the stretch and be reigned in by Peyton Manning and the Colts. The Colts! Shouldn’t a big, bad bronco crush a widdow-bitty colt?

And now come the mighty Patriots, of whom Westerners have grown weary. That insecurity is not limited to Denver. This past week, a prominent national radio talk show host, relocated to Connecticut from the Great Northwest, laid into the Pats as “gray,” “soy-like,” “dull” and “unemotional,” among a few other choice adjectives. The kicker, of course, was his stereotypical observation that the team is a reflection of its region: smart and efficient, but closed, boring and reserved. “They’re just kind of…. there,” he said.

He feels the rest of the country outside New England is rooting for the Pats to lose because they’re old news. “Nobody likes the Patriots any more. They want a team that is more interesting,” he said. Like the Seahawks, was his insinuation.

And so it goes. Don’t get me wrong. I respect the Broncos, even the Seahawks. But, they ain’t the Patriots. To quote a famous football owner, from the West, I do believe, “Just win, Baby!”

Pats 27, Broncos 20.

Doug Van Reeth, who lived in Bronco country much too long, is the Sun Journal photo editor. He can be reached by e-mail st [email protected]