The second-greatest president of the millennium has come up with another masterful observation – that Americans are addicted to oil.

He is, of course, correct, but, unlike the war on drugs and terrorism, we all know who the big enemy is this time.

Maybe President Bush will launch a war on oil, and not just another war for oil. Of course, it could still be another endless, fearful Republican war.

The president could stimulate the economy by hiring 50 million new, bicycling oil cops. These addict fighters could pedal around, busting cars that have oil. SUVs would be claimed by the newly created War on Oil Department, (formerly known as The Department of Homeland Security) as terrorists’ equipment and melted down for more bikes for the war effort.

Big-box stores could be used to lock up anti-American citizens caught using oil to drive their vehicles and to heat their homes. The Justice Department could hold these oil-using addict traitors forever, or at least until the Supreme Court rules that one’s right to possess oil is constitutional.

Maybe I’m mistaken. Maybe the president meant that oil is so expensive now that Americans, like drug addicts, will have to buy it by the vial.

Is this letter confusing? I wrote it that way so readers could better understand Medicare’s Plan D.

James Burrill, Strong