Greg and Amy Vaillancourt celebrate their family
MECHANIC FALLS – Amy Vaillancourt listened to the Army’s warning: War changes marriages.
“Not us,” she told herself.
“I believed we would pick up right where we left off,” Amy said of her marriage with Greg Vaillancourt.
Their love was too strong to be changed by the year he spent in Iraq. Their reunion would be perfect.
“I figured that he’d be the same exact person that he was before,” she said.
It didn’t work out that way.
The first two weeks felt like another honeymoon. Even the first three months felt easy. Then, they entered a rough patch.
“It’s been really hard,” Amy said. “Before he left, things seemed to work naturally.”
Some changes were small.
Greg found that things had moved. He needed help finding the water glasses in the kitchen or Trent’s pajamas as he readied him for bed.
Greg also had to learn to live without orders or fear. He savored the little freedoms to play with his son or hop in his truck and pick up a pizza.
Meanwhile, Amy adjusted to sharing the house and the family she had run while he was gone. She had worried about him every day. When he’d call, she’d imagine that it was the last time they would ever speak.
“While he was gone, neither of us really talked about our fears,” she said.
They have yet to talk much about their wartime fears, a strategy that they hope will help their marriage move forward.
“We try to put it behind us and move on,” Greg said.
The first step was to be a couple again. They talked, compromised and searched for the things that would make the other happy. It took six months.
“We both had to change,” she said. “We found an understanding.”
The family is worth the struggle, said Amy, sitting on her living room couch. Their older son, Trent, 4, and Greg sat nearby.
In her arms, she cradled 3-month old Luke. She’d become pregnant just three weeks after Greg’s return.
“My children, my husband, my home,” she said. “It’s worth working for.”
Other couples have been less lucky. During the 133rd’s year in Iraq, several marriages ended.
Amy said she remains in love with her husband. And he loves her.
“It pulled us through everything,” she said.
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