Pity Pluto, so cold, so distant and unappreciated and now rudely demoted from full planetary status.

Mainers, we think, have a special place in their hearts for the little guy, the rebel, the neglected, even when it comes to planets.

We are, after all, rather in the same position in the planetary system of U.S. states. Most Americans seem to think of Maine as cold and distant, while not as far away as the Kuiper Belt, certainly within the Artic Circle. The knocks on Pluto were even more cutting – just a dirty little “iceball,” they said. Ouch.

While not as small as Pluto’s, our population is tiny compared to Jupiter-size states like New York, Texas, Florida and California. But we take some pride in being off the beaten path compared to places like Massachusetts, Connecticut and New Jersey, and Pluto is, if nothing else, out of the way.

Sadly, while Pluto has been voted out of the community of planets, it will retain its position in the quirky solar system of Aroostook County. “We’re not planning on taking down Pluto,” Kevin McCartney told the Portland Press Herald for a story Friday.

McCartney is the University of Maine-Presque Isle professor who, along with a group of volunteers, has created and maintained the Solar System Model that stretches for 40 miles along Route 1, radiating from its sun on the college campus.

Pluto is a lonely half-inch wooden ball located at the extreme edge of the Aroostook display. It’s staying, according to McCartney, who is considering adding some of the other more recently discovered “dwarf planets.”

At least in Maine, Pluto will remain in the Parthenon of planets.

Earth to candidate: Come in, Mr. Hero!

As long as we’re talking about the remote reaches of our solar system, we’re beginning to wonder what planet independent candidate for governor Phillip Morris NaPier hails from.

NaPier wants the title “Thu Peoples Hero” to appear next to his name on November’s general election ballot, saying he has legally changed his name to “Hero.”

Yes, that’s no mistake: he really means “Thu,” which is not a word, according to Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, at least not on this planet.

The Maine Secretary of State’s Office has objected to NaPier’s request, pointing out that neither his voter petitions, voter or vehicle registrations identify him as “Hero.”

The state has already given NaPier a firm “no” on his other request, to include the words “Pissed Off Patriot” as his political affiliation. The state refuses to do so, citing a law barring the use of vulgar or obscene language on the ballot.

NaPier is, according to his official Web site, the founder of rather odd group: “Felons United,” which is described as dedicated to obtaining full rights and benefits for felons.

One of its goals would be to forbid people from calling other people names… like “felon.”

Hmmm. How about loon?

NaPier was clearly a longshot candidate for governor even before all this goofiness began. We’d say he now stands an ice ball’s chance in… well, the Kuiper Belt, of winning the Blaine House.