“I’ve always been… SHY!” I belted those words out of my mouth and into the air, over and over again, singing each note until it was perfected. All I could focus on was that part, becoming Princess Winnifred the Woebegone, lead role in the musical Once Upon A Mattress. I had only been in one other theatrical production before, but the thought of being a star, having everybody look up to me, and all eyes on me whenever I set foot on the stage, made my adrenaline rush. It made me audition for lead.

“All of the girls will be singing the first part of “Shy” and the boys will be singing the first part of “Song of Love” for your auditions tomorrow,” said our director. Instantly, a smile formed on my face.

“Breath support you guys!” Becky Popke, our assistant director told us. So I listened. I clenched my stomach muscles tight and filled my diaphragm up with air, belting every note out with passion. Filling the whole auditorium with music, all the girls in the cast sang the song, some trying to sound almost, in character as “Winnifred” and others just singing. The whole morning was filled with preparations for auditions the following day.

The moment I set foot inside of my house that afternoon I bolted upstairs, script in my hand, and began singing. My house echoed with the sounds of “Shy” for hours and hours.

“Mary, you sound great, but its 10 p.m., you need to stop singing.” Reluctantly, I headed for bed. That night, my head was filled with thoughts of “Shy” and every word of advice our directors had given us.

My eyes snapped open with intensity at 5 a.m. that morning. I showered and got dressed as fast as possible, practicing the song once more before I left.

As soon as I entered the Leavitt Auditorium, I was terrified. Not out of fear of getting the part or not, but what if I messed up in front of my friends? In front of my directors? What if I messed up so horribly that they realized I couldn’t handle pressure and wouldn’t give me the role? All the what it’s pretty much drove me insane while I was waiting for my turn to audition.

“Mary Schomaker, auditioning for Princess Winnifred.” Slowly, I stood up and walked center stage, my heart pounding.

“Are you ready?” Our director, Jim asked me. I nodded my head and the music began playing.

“I’ve always been SHY! I confess… SHY! Can’t you guess…. Mask that I wear…. Shy!” I couldn’t seem to keep time with the music, and I was trying to catch up with it, trying to keep singing. The part of the song ended, leaving me in terror. I had completely butchered the song.

“NOW that all of the auditions have been finished, you will all watch the movie of “Once Upon A Mattress” while Becky and I go into the sound room to do the casting.” Announced Jim.

Most people watched the movie, and ware entertained by it. Not me. I sat there in my choir, fighting with my fingers, with the arm rests on the chairs, with everything.

Would I get the part? Of course not, I thought to myself, I destroyed the song. Completely killed it. I’d probably end up in the ensemble. The cast wasn’t even big enough to have on ensemble. Why are they taking so long? Why won’t the movie end? Can’t they just come out and tell me that I wasn’t going to be Winnifred? Why did I – Just then, the movie ended and Jim and Becky walked out of the sound room.

“Would you all go sit in a circle on the stage please?” asked Becky. We all followed

the instructions, I was shaking I was so nervous, clenching my friend Katie’s hand as hard as I could. “We are going to list who has been given which role. Please Don’t clap, cheer, and yell until we have listed everybody’s part. Okay?” We all agreed that we wouldn’t.

“Our Princess Winnifred the Woebegone will be,” Jim paused, I squeezed Katie’s hand so tight, I was surprised it hadn’t fallen off. “Mary Schomaker.” Oh my God, I thought. All I could hear was cheers, and ‘I knew you’d get it Mary.’ All I could feel was hugs and excitement rushing through my body. All I could think was, how on earth did I manage this? Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God. Yay!

“You guys need to calm down now.” Our directors told us. After a while, a long while, we did.

“Prince Dauntless will be Derrick Lacasse, Lady Lorken is Katie Hummes….” I could hardly breathe I was so excited. As soon as they finished listing who had what roles, I raced up to my director’s, hugged them, and thanked them.

The next day, I showed up for rehearsal excited and ready to work. When it was time for me to sing, I became worried about impressing people. Again, the song was awkward and I didn’t keep time, at all.

It continued happening like this for the next few days, and when it was time to start with the choreography, I felt like I was in way over my head. Still, everybody believed in me, everybody seemed to know that I could do it.

A week later, two days before dress rehearsal, our director decided to take us to the playground down the street. I played with my friends, like a little kid. We swung on the swings, wind rushing at our feet, forgetting about everything, we were carefree for that golden 15 minutes. Later, we all walked up the rood, back to the Leavitt auditorium, where we all lay down on the stage. All of a sudden, everybody from the “Once Upon a Mattress” cast who was in the previous show. “Music Man,” sang the song “Iowa Stubborn”, while laying down with our eyes closed, still not really caring about anything. “You really ought to give Iowa a try!” The final chord ended and all was silent. Derrick, who was Prince Dauntless (the guy lead) who was laying right beside me looked at me and said,

“Why don’t you sing like that all the time?”

“Like what?” I asked, confused.

“Like nobody’s listening.” Those words mode me, think, why should I care what people thought of me? I shouldn’t try to impress anybody. The only person I should try to impress was myself

The next day. Mariah Perry and Vince Ratsavong came to watch us. Mariah was my baby-sitter when I was really little, and she had always been like an older sister to me. Vince, had been one of Mariah’s beet friends for so long as I had remembered, so I knew him very well too. We did a full run-through of the show, and at the end, Mariah and Vince took me aside and said,

“Mary, you are amazing, we love you, but you’re not as confident in yourself as we feel you could be. Tomorrow is dress rehearsal, the day after that is opening night. We are going to turn you into a diva tomorrow evening after rehearsal.” So it was settled, I was going to go to Mariah’s house at 4p.m. the next day, so I could be made into a diva.

“Every time you step on the stage, the stage becomes important. People want to see you, you’re, you’re FRED!” Mariah told me. “Being loud and obnoxious is who your character is, be loud and obnoxious Mary, its okay, its what you’re supposed to do!” Mariah and Vince told me what to do, and how to act. By the end of that night, I certainly did feel like a diva.

“Oh, and one thing before you go!” Vince told me. “Just to let you know Derrick is a lead, but your part is bigger, you are the lead. Don’t let him take over, don’t let him overpower you. You are the center of attention, you always need to be the center of attention. Okay?” I nodded my head. “Wonderful Diva! T will see you Friday night!'”

Dress rehearsal day was amazing. I had never felt so confident before. I danced how I was supposed to, I said my lines loud and clearly, and I sang, oh yes, I sang. After the run-through was finished, Derrick ran up to me and hugged me.

“What did you do last night? “Shy” was amazing.”

“I practiced.” I replied.

“We could tell,” he told me.

Derrick wasn’t the only one who had noticed the sudden change in my confidence level. Everybody had. I was swarmed by people, all of them hugging me and telling me how great I was. It made me feel like a lead is Supposed to, everybody was looking up to me, everybody thought I was amazing, everybody loved me. That was the best feeling I had ever had in my life, it gave me goose bumps, and made me all warm and happy inside. It made me feel good.

It was opening night. I had been at Leavitt setting ready for about four hours before the show. About twenty minutes before the show was about to start, my mom came up to me and wished me luck, telling me the most amazing thing in the world.

“I was talking to Jim and Becky and Derrick,” she said. “Jim said to me, “We gave her the part because we knew she could handle it.’ Then Becky said, ‘But with the work and improvement she has shown us these past three weeks, she has just, just – Derrick interrupted, ‘Floured us all.’ My mom told me that and I immediately felt like I could do anything in the world.

I entered the stage and began making people laugh, I was off to a great start. I sang like nobody was listening, danced like nobody was watching, and acted like I was alone and only my mirror could see me. Everything was going so perfect.

The final note of the Finals ended and the stage blacked out as we all ran for our spots behind the curtain. It was time for bows. Members of the cast bowed one by one or in pairs. Derrick bowed and then it was time for me. I skipped out onto the stage and bent down, slowly coming back up, when I noticed that people began standing up, for me. I was being given a standing ovation, I had never felt this amazing in my entire life.

After the show, during “meet and greet” time, a little girl ran up to me and hugged me. She was so small, she ended up hugging around my waist.

“Can I have your autograph?” she asked. I was touched, she wanted my autograph! I signed her program and later that night left. My hair was a wreck, I was sweaty and my stage makeup was running. Still, I had a dozen roses in my arms and memories that would last a lifetime.