Happy Festivus, everybody! Did you remember to bring the aluminum pole?

Festivus – an alterna-holiday introduced to the public by Frank Costanza in an episode of “Seinfeld” and celebrated on Dec. 23, also involves The Feats of Strength and a wrestling match. But the most important part of the holiday, for my money, is The Airing of the Grievances, which gives me a chance at the end of each year to gather together all of my TV loved ones and tell them how they’ve disappointed me.

And the first one happens to be someone who appeared in that “Seinfeld” Festivus episode nine years ago. So let’s get to the complaints, and don’t forget: Festivus isn’t over until you pin your father!:

n Michael Richards, for … well, you know. Frankly, the whole thing was so distasteful we should just move on.

n Aaron Sorkin, for turning “Studio 60” into an expensive, self-indulgent, smug weekly therapy session. Sorkin, the mastermind behind “Sports Night” and “The West Wing,” has used his latest bully pulpit as a transparent excuse to rehash and win every old argument he ever had with network executives, censors, agents and especially ex-girlfriend Kristen Chenoweth, here transformed into clingy, untalented simpleton Harriet Hayes. (Sarah Paulson deserves combat pay for having to play her producer’s punching bag each week.)

n HBO, for pulling the plug on “Deadwood” and for unleashing “Lucky Louie” on the world. “Deadwood” is one of the two or three greatest achievements in the history of American TV drama, but apparently that wasn’t good enough for the suits at HBO who like to boast about their legacy of quality. Only days after creator David Milch said he needed four seasons to complete his vision, HBO declined to keep the cast under contract past season three. Conflicting stories flew around, Milch was tasked to start up his new “surf noir” show “John From Cincinnati,” and a pair of wrap-up “Deadwood” movies may or may not happen. I would use Al Swearengen’s favorite word to describe my feelings, but this is a civilized newspaper.

n The writers of “Grey’s Anatomy,” for continuing to push the limits of credulity. Like the girl with the curl, when “Grey’s” is good (the Super Bowl two-parter in which Kyle Chandler exploded), it’s very good. But when it’s bad? The pain, the pain, oh, the pain of trying to pretend Seattle Grace is a realistic hospital even by soap opera standards. The storyline in which Izzy went crazy and cut boyfriend Denny’s Left Ventricular Assist Device wire to move him up the transplant list was the real howler – not so much what Izzy did, but the contortions all the characters have gone through to justify her continued surgical career. (That and Katherine Heigl’s inability to cry convincingly.)

n The broadcast networks, for scheduling too many serialized dramas that were bound to leave too many viewers hanging. On the plus side, they finally realized they could stream unaired episodes on their Web sites for the benefit of the real die-hards. On the minus side, many of those Web sites are still a chore to use (NBC’s, in particular, where each “Kidnapped” episode disappeared as soon as the next one was posted), and most of the shows were canceled before wrap-up episodes could be shot. And speaking of failed rookie serials…

n The writers of “Lost,” for lollygagging even more than usual with their stories. After suffering through six weeks of pointless torture by The Others, followed by Jack being more of an idiot than usual in the cliffhanger (why not ask for help getting back to civilization, guy?), I’m actually starting to miss the hatch.

n The CW, for renewing “7th Heaven” and “One Tree Hill” while getting rid of “Everwood.” The rationale for keeping “7th Heaven” was that 7 million people tuned in to the series finale. Of course they did; they wanted to say goodbye. Not surprisingly, most of them didn’t come back when the show rose from the dead. “Everwood” had been the WB’s most creatively sound show when the network merged with UPN; its replacement, “Runaway,” lasted all of three episodes.

n Mark Burnett, for initially segregating the “Survivor: Cook Islands” contestants by race. Burnett said he wanted the show to have more diversity. Fine. Then just cast more diversely instead of trying to revive interest in the franchise with a forced controversy. The segregated episodes – all two of them – were thankfully short on cringe-inducing moments, but “Cook Islands” didn’t turn into one of the better “Survivor” seasons until long after the teams integrated.

n “The West Wing,” for bungling the goodbye to the late John Spencer. Spencer’s untimely death at the tail end of the show’s election storyline had to leave the writers scrambling to squeeze in a proper tribute. But rather than devoting a single hour to a proper farewell, they stretched the story over three crammed episodes, frequently making the loss of the show’s most respected character into an afterthought.

n Comedy Central, for yanking reruns of the Tom Cruise-bashing “Trapped in the Closet” episode of “South Park” when “Mission: Impossible 3” was coming out. Corporate synergy at its toadying worst.

n The American public, for their continued fascination with “Deal or No Deal.” Seriously, folks – it’s “How many fingers do I have behind my back?” with better production values and Howie Mandel.