FARMINGTON – Naoki Yamada stood by the stove in Pat Mellen’s bright kitchen Thursday, helping her make pudding.

“Naoki’s learning men can actually cook,” Mellen said, laughing.

In the three months he’s been in the United States, Yamada, 21, has learned a lot.

Like how to use a knife and fork, for example, he joked.

When he arrived in Farmington in October from Osaka, Japan, where he is studying to become an English teacher, he had never eaten with anything but chopsticks.

Living with Pat and Tom Mellen in Farmington, he learned to eat without them.

This year, during Thanksgiving dinner at Pat’s son Jon’s house in Denver, Jon Mellen said, he used the knife and fork as chopsticks. It was more of a joke than anything, really, he said.

Yamada goes back to Japan on Jan. 10. He’ll miss Farmington, he said.

He came as part of an international internship program, and observes or gives Japanese culture and calligraphy classes – unpaid – at Mt. Blue High School, both learning about America and teaching American students kids about Japan.

Mt. Blue teens often ask him what life as a Japanese high-school student is like, what sports students play, and what hobbies Yamada has.

Some of the typical stereotypes are true, he said. He and many in Japan love doing karaoke. He eats rice and miso soup for breakfast. He has a more restrained relationship with his parents and teachers than many Americans he has met.

School is very different, he said. “In Japan, we have 40 students in one class. We have to be quiet, and it’s more strict. I was very surprised when I came here. Every student tried to ask questions to the teacher.”

“The difference between Japanese people and American people – the Japanese are more shy, afraid to say their opinion strongly because they don’t want to hurt other people’s mind or heart, so they finally decide to say nothing.”

“So … it was kind of hard for me when I came here,” he said. At first, he was shy about asking questions. He would smile and nod, he said, pretending he understood. “I finally decided to ask … questions, if I don’t understand. I try to ask everything until I understand. It’s not fun to pretend,” he said.

He’s had a great time here, he said. People are very kind, which helps with the inevitable culture shock that goes with moving halfway around the world.

He’s also had some funny experiences. He took karate classes for the first time at a Farmington dojo, he said. “I was the worst karate learner in his class,” Yamada joked. “It was so funny.”

Food has been a hurdle. His first night in Farmington, he went out to eat and got a huge hamburger and a beer. “It was so amazing for me,” he said.

“My friends in Japan who go to America go back to Japan very fat,” he said. At first, he worried about going home looking like a sumo wrestler. “I don’t want to be like that,” he said.

He’s not fat. But the Mellens joke that now that he’s in the United States, he’s short. At under 6 feet, and living with a family of self-proclaimed giants, he’s certainly the shortest of the Mellen family’s young men. In Japan, he’s considered tall, he said.

One of his students in Japan wants to know why Americans are so tall, Yamada said.

The Mellens’ kitchen echoed with laughter Thursday, as Yamada spoke about some of his experiences. “We love hosting people,” Mellen said. “It’s our effort in promoting peace in the world.”

Among all the differences between the two cultures, Mellen said, there are important similarities. “The way he thinks,” she said. “His goals and aspirations.”

“He’s become part of our family.”

Yamada smiled.