11 a.m., ESPN

Over-under on how many times Chris Berman will remind us that Tom Brady was a sixth-round pick: 37.

NBA: Bulls at Heat

1 p.m., Channel 8

Give me a healthy D-Wade and Shaq in his prime, put them up against the 1993 Bulls and I might watch.

MLB: Red Sox at Yankees

1 p.m., NESN

Talked to Johnny Damon the other day, and he told me that wasn’t long hair he wore in 2004. It was paint.

NASCAR: Aaron’s 499

1:30 p.m., FOX-23

It’s Talladega, so a huge wreck, an obscene gesture and a ticked-off Tony Stewart are almost guaranteed.

NHL: Sabres at Rangers, Game 3

2 p.m., Channel 6

In the interest of pretentious spelling consistency, shouldn’t they be the Rangres?

NBA: Suns at Lakers, Game 4

3:30 p.m., Channel 8

If Kwame Brown and Lamar Odom were our best options, we’d probably never pass the ball, either.

Barbaro: A Nation’s Horse

5 p.m., Channel 6

Sorry, but the Pantera edition of VH1’s “Behind The Music” was a better tear-jerker.