As a singles and relationship coach, it occurs to me that spring is a great time for singles to do a little emotional spring cleaning.

Here are a few tips for singles to do a bit of cleaning in their emotional closet. These are all things that ought to go out with the spring cleaning trash:

• Lose the losers – If you are hanging out with people who are not good for you, and who do not support your beliefs and dreams, it’s time to clean these folks out of your life and move on. This is especially true if you are hanging on to a love relationship that you know is not good for you.

• The I Can’ts – Maya Bailey, a Law of Attraction Coach, talks about the importance of clearing opposing beliefs. An opposing belief is anything you believe that holds you back from achieving and getting what you want. An example would be the belief that you are destined to be alone, even though you want a relationship. Get rid of that opposing belief and replace it with the belief that it only takes one.

• Cultural lies – A cultural lie is something that our culture believes only because it has been said so much. For example, every few years there will be another article stating that if you are a woman over a certain age, your chances of finding a partner go down dramatically. Hogwash. Again, it only takes one.

• No plan – Get rid of the notion that you will just magically find the right person one day. Begin by becoming the right person. Create a relationship plan the will guide you into the relationship of your dreams.

• Old patterns – Notice the relationship patterns of your parents relationship, whether they are alive or dead. Notice your own relationship patterns, especially those in your last five relationships, and then especially how those last five relationships ended.

Are there any patterns you keep repeating that you need to throw out with the trash?

• Pay attention to your complaints – Most of the time the things we complain about in relationships are the things we most need to work on. What are your most common complaints? What is your contribution to your most common complaints? What are you willing to change?

Jeff Herring, MS, LMFT, is a marriage and family therapist. E-mail him at [email protected] or, for more tips and tools for living you can visit www.JeffHerringOnline.com.