DEAR ABBY: I have been married to “Scott” for several years. He’s a wonderful man. It’s the second marriage for me, the third for Scott. We are in our 40s and attend a lot of school sporting events for his youngest sons.

We live in a small town. Scott grew up here and knows everyone.

My problem is the mother of one of the team members. She is married but seems to have issues. She’s obnoxiously flirtatious with Scott.

Her husband has not accompanied her to many of the games, and her behavior is escalating.

I am not usually a jealous person, but this is getting annoying. I have, until this point, always been nice to her. I finally spoke with Scott about it, and he does try to avoid her some.

I feel like the other parents have noticed, and it is embarrassing.

Scott is trustworthy, and I don’t want to take this out on him. But it has been getting to me lately, and I find myself being mad at him.

I don’t want to make a scene. What do you suggest? – ANNOYED IN OAK GROVE, MO.

DEAR ANNOYED: This isn’t something you can handle alone. You and your husband must confront this woman together in order to effectively put an end to it.

The next time the flirt comes on to Scott, she needs to be told, “You are embarrassing both of us and yourself when you act this way – so stop it!”

DEAR ABBY: You frequently advise a child with problems at home to seek out a trusted teacher to confide in.

In today’s climate of sexual abuse allegations – and factual cases – most teachers do not want to become involved in a student’s personal life, especially since they are hearing only one side of the story.

To ask a teacher to venture into serious allegations of abuse and/or neglect is not fair to the teacher or his family, and few are qualified to help, other than to call the police or child protective services.

I would suggest instead a trusted relative who has some knowledge or insight into the family dynamics, or even a hotline number to call for professional advice.

We expect a lot from our teachers, but we should not put them in jeopardy by asking them to step out of their realm, where their untrained actions or inactions could possibly be harmful. – MOTHER OF A TEACHER, SANTA ANA, CALIF.

DEAR MOTHER OF A TEACHER: I advise children who are being physically or sexually abused to confide in a trusted teacher because teachers are mandated by law to report crimes against children.

In my opinion, for a teacher to ignore it because it might be awkward would be criminal. You do not have to be “trained” to report abuse. I have done it myself.

CONFIDENTIAL TO “LOSER” IN SOUTH CAROLINA: Despite the physical, verbal and psychological abuse you have suffered at the hands of your husband all these years, you are NOT a “loser.”

You feel helpless, useless and unlovable not because you are any of those things, but because abusers typically chip away at their victims’ self-esteem until it is eroded to zero.

Suicide is not the answer to your problem, dear lady. Finding a way to escape is. Please call the National Domestic Violence toll-free hotline so its counselors can help you form an escape plan. It will change your life. The number is (800) 799-7233. Do not waste another day – do it now! Love, Abby

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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