DEAR ABBY: I am begging you to have a medical health professional address this problem.

We were at a music festival last night, and sitting near us in front of the amplifier was a young mother with an infant who appeared to be about 5 weeks old. She was there for five hours!

I voiced my concern to a woman with her who said, “You can’t tell her anything.” I then spoke to a security guard, asking him to suggest that she move to the rear, away from those killer sound systems. No luck.

I’m ashamed to say that I did not go up and tell her to get away and save her child’s poor little ears. So, I am begging you to print something about destroying children’s hearing. I know some adults are plain stupid in this matter, but that infant had no choice. – EXASPERATED IN WILKES-BARRE, PA.

DEAR EXASPERATED: I took your letter to Dr. Allen Senne, director of audiology at the famous House Ear Clinic. This is what he had to say, and I hope parents will heed it:

“Any noise in excess of 85 decibels – that’s about as loud as a power lawn mower – is damaging to the human ear. That’s why OSHA (the Occupational Safety and Health Administration) guidelines prohibit workers from working in areas where they’re exposed to noise greater than 85 decibels for an extended period of time.

“Children are at least as susceptible to the effects of noise exposure as adults. In fact, professionals in the field of audiology are now seeing an increase in the incidence of younger people demonstrating hearing loss due to noise exposure from listening to iPods, Walkmans and other in-ear receivers because the digital sound produced by these devices can be played at louder levels without distortion.

“A typical music concert is amplified 110 to 120 decibels, which is significantly beyond any damage risk criteria, and has the potential for causing irreversible hearing problems. THIS CAN BE THE RESULT OF A ONE-TIME EXPOSURE.

“In fact, I recently treated a boy from Texas who had lost his hearing in one ear because he wanted to be close to the music and stood directly in front of an amplifier at a rock concert. That was a one-time exposure, so draw your own conclusions.”



DEAR ABBY: Less than a year after our marriage, my wife wants to exchange the engagement ring I bought her for a larger diamond. Should I be upset about this? – UPSET IN ILLINOIS

DEAR UPSET: Your signature indicates that you are already upset about it. That said, your feelings are your feelings, and you are entitled to them. You are obviously the more sentimental partner in your marriage. Please try to put this in perspective. The real “jewel” isn’t the diamond you put on her finger; it is you.



DEAR ABBY: I have been a widow for more than four years. An older man has started to court me. He has also been a widower for about four years. We both had long marriages before our spouses died.

He has asked me about my feelings on sex. Abby, what does a 59-year-old woman say to a 71-year-old man about sex without marriage? I’m very shy about this, and it seems to mean a lot to him. This is the first time I have dated since losing my husband, and I have no clue. – CLUELESS IN WISCONSIN

DEAR CLUELESS: The next time the gentleman asks you how you feel about sex, say: “I love sex. How do you feel about marriage?”



Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order “How to Have a Lovely Wedding.” Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)