Saturday

Seahawks at Packers

4:30 p.m., FOX

The guy who voted for Brett Favre over Tom Brady for MVP probably thinks Matt Hasselbeck has nice hair, too.

Jaguars at Patriots

8 p.m., CBS

I’ve taken to carrying a club around this week just in case I run into someone who says “Jag-wires.”

Sunday

Chargers at Colts

1 p.m., CBS

Based on the national media’s breathless anticipation of his return, we should just mark Marvin Harrison down for 10 catches and three touchdowns on Sunday.

Giants at Cowboys

4:30 p.m., FOX

If the Cowboys lose, Jessica Simpson’s going to dump Tony Romo and go out with Brian McNamee.