“There has been a slow erosion of what is OK and what is not OK, and it is happening with clients, customers and co-workers. It is hard to balance work and personal life, and the use of cell phones allows us to easily slip back and forth all the time.”

– Julie Olson-Buchanan

How rude! Poor etiquette on the rise, workplace experts say

FRESNO, Calif. – If you’ve ever overheard a co-worker’s loud cell phone conversation, noticed underwear peeking from the tops of his or her pants, or become nauseated watching one talk with a mouthful of food, you are not alone.

Etiquette experts say a lack of social graces and general rudeness has become all too common in the workplace.

“I have seen some people walk through buffet lines stacking their plate 3 feet high,” said Maria Everding, founder of the Etiquette Institute in St. Louis. “Or you see others trying to drink out of a coffee stirrer because they think it’s a tiny straw.”

The lines between what is acceptable and unacceptable is blurring as a new generation of employees enters the work force, bringing with them their use of personal technology – cell phones and MySpace, for example – and a more casual attitude and fashion sense.

The boon in bad manners has been good for the etiquette business, whose experts are finding their talents in demand. Businesses are also discovering that polishing their employees’ behavior pays off in increased productivity, better sales and a more cooperative workplace.

Everding, who has taught etiquette for more than 20 years, trains and certifies at least 10 consultants a month, up from an average of four just two years ago.

“There is definitely job security for me,” Everding said.

The push for a more civil and refined workplace is also taking hold in the California’s San Joaquin Valley, where at least four companies provide business-etiquette training. The list includes Tiffany Smith of Visalia, Joan Wynn of Clovis, Robin Germain of Fresno and Cynthia Merrill of Fresno.

Often they’re hired to provide one-on-one coaching as well to help companies become more professional. Advice is given on everything from table manners to how to dress appropriately.

The trend doesn’t surprise Fresno State business management professor Julie Olson-Buchanan, who says companies want to reestablish the ground rules for how employees and managers conduct themselves at work, especially the use of technology.

Twenty years ago most people would have frowned at someone carrying on a loud personal conversation while in line at the grocery store. But cell phone conversations go on all the time now, including at work.

“There has been a slow erosion of what is OK and what is not OK, and it is happening with clients, customers and co-workers,” Olson-Buchanan said. “It is hard to balance work and personal life, and the use of cell phones allows us to easily slip back and forth all the time.”

Generational differences among workers also can create conflict. What may be acceptable to a younger employee, such as text messaging a friend while at work, may not be acceptable to a Baby Boomer, Olson-Buchanan said.

Rude and disrespectful treatment also has the potential to bring down morale and reduce productivity.

“When you are treated badly at work, it stays with you and you carry it home,” she said.

Disrespectful treatment at work was one of the reasons why Smith of Visalia, Calif., opened her business, Premier Etiquette Training and Consulting, about a year ago. A 15-year veteran of the sales and marketing industry, Smith once worked for a boss who routinely berated employees.

“We were all hard workers and team players, but nothing we could do was good enough,” Smith said. “It killed the morale in the office and caused us to run and hide. No one should be treated that way. It was completely inappropriate.”

Smith used that hard lesson as motivation to help employers and their workers understand how to treat each other with respect.

“Etiquette is not just about manners, but it’s principles to help people build stronger relationships,” said Smith, who trained at the Emily Post Institute. “Relationships are key to our life both on a personal and professional level.”

Smith said her clients include schools, businesses and individuals, some looking for ways to present themselves more professionally. Simple issues such as wearing the appropriate clothing can dictate how a person is perceived by the public and co-workers, she said.

Well-intentioned efforts such as “casual Friday” have backfired in some offices where employees push the limits of good taste.

“It is time for some employers to reinforce the dress code,” Smith said. “One of the worst examples I have seen are g-strings hanging out of the back of someone’s pants.”

Germain, owner of Fresno, Calif.-based Academy of Modern Etiquette, said another common business-etiquette mistake is failing to introduce a person’s business associates.

Germain said you should never assume everyone knows each other in an office. Simple introductions help build communication and show respect.

“You never know when that person you introduced could be your next boss,” she said.

Germain said she also helps business clients improve their dining habits and provides tips for a successful business lunch. She recommended checking out the restaurant first, becoming familiar with the menu and, if possible, making payment arrangements ahead of time.

Avoid restaurants where waitresses are known for revealing outfits.

“Your business will not be the focus of your guest’s attention,” Germain said.

Businesses seeking a more professional front-office staff have called on Wynn of Essential Etiquette for help. She recently worked with a doctor whose patients were so unhappy with the office’s receptionist that they threatened to find another physician.

Wynn discovered the employee was bringing her personal problems into work and taking her frustration out on the patients.

“When you go to a doctor’s office you don’t want someone chewing your head off because you are five minutes late,” Wynn said. “When at all possible, you shouldn’t bring your personal problems into work. Being professional is not complaining and whining about your problems.”

Merrill of Fresno said that in her 20 years in the business she has seen demand for etiquette training increase. She is well-known in dance circles for her cotillion where children and young adults learned proper social behavior.

The popular dance classes developed into etiquette classes for young people and later into instruction for individual adults and businesses.

“This industry just continues to grow and for good reason,” Merrill said. “There are lots of parents who are now realizing they didn’t have anyone teach them proper etiquette, and they are now wishing it for their children.”

She called some of those parents “free spirits” of the 1960s and 1970s who chose to raise their children with greater freedoms and fewer rules.

Merrill said that without parents and teachers providing etiquette instruction, employees aren’t likely to absorb the necessary skills at work unless they have a good role model.

Donna Shroyer, director of accounts for a medical billing company, hired Merrill to help her polish her professional skills. She said she learned many things including: thank-you notes are important and sandals are not proper work attire.

She also learned how to handle introductions and was given pointers on dining etiquette.

“The whole experience has given me a lot more confidence,” Shroyer said. “I know now that what I am doing is the right thing, and that is a powerful feeling.”