By Sally Goodrich

University of Maine at Farmington

2008 Commencement

I would like to thank the members of the University of Maine at Farmington who extended this invitation to speak today: President Kalikow, trustees, faculty, students, friends and families.

It is a singular honor to participate in today’s celebration. I must say I was completely overwhelmed and, in fact, speechless – not a good thing under the circumstances – when I was asked to give this address. Then I reflected back to the many graduations I’ve attended. I could only remember the names of two speakers and nothing of what they had to say. So it is with a great sense of humility that I approach this task. No doubt, you will have forgotten these remarks before you arrive home with your diplomas in hand. And that is as it should be for today is about you and your accomplishments.

Last year I had the privilege of coming to this wonderful university. I landed in the middle of two emotionally charged events: a month-long series of activities designed to enlighten faculty and students about a country I have come to love, Afghanistan, and a day of workshops about the causes and far reaching effects of the war in Iraq. I was anxious at first because my husband and I had decided not to make any public statements about the Iraq war out of respect for the great toll it has taken on families whose children have died there. I understand the devastation that follows the death of child.

Sept. 11th was often used as a rationale for engagement in Iraq, but the 9/11 Commission found otherwise, and my husband, in his duties as chair of the board of Families of September 11th, advocated for the establishment of the commission so that this country would not repeat the failures that resulted in our oldest son’s death and the deaths of nearly 3,000 others. We endorsed the findings of the commission. We use one recommendation to direct the work of our foundation: “The United States should rebuild the scholarship, exchange, and library programs that reach out to young people and offer them knowledge and hope. Where such assistance is provided, it should be identified as coming from the citizens of the United States”.

We do this work together with many others who subscribe to different faiths and political views.

I was reluctant to place our work in a context where it could be misunderstood and hesitated about coming to campus. That response – really a need to withdraw from controversy – would not have served me well. My fears were unfounded. I did not find a demonstration for or against the Iraq war. This was not a day reminiscent of the great protests against the Vietnam conflict that characterized my college years and interrupted our exams and graduation ceremonies. Here was a reasoned assessment of the war’s impact. I left with a profound feeling of respect for the quality of the discussion that occurred on this campus.

When I think about each and every one of you I know you will take with you the tradition of thoughtful debate about the pressing issues you confront. I do not have to tell you what that process involves. You have only to consider how Farmington created two very different forums that would allow you to come to your own decisions. Peter Goodrich would have respected the non-judgmental manner in which you tackled those potentially divisive subjects. Stay fearless in your pursuit of the truth. Continue to cultivate intellectual curiosity. You are well prepared to search for solutions to intractable problems.

I also left wishing I could place one of our Afghan exchange students here. Unfortunately, our great public institutions cannot fund scholarships to non-immigrants. It does not seem to matter that the U.S. is sending its children and spending its increasingly scare resources to guarantee security in Afghanistan, a country that has been in conflict for almost 30 years. Nor does it seem to matter that Afghanistan has a devastated educational system and can’t train the leaders it needs to rebuild its country. Many would ask: Why persist in trying to address issues that have defied resolution for hundreds of years? It is so easy to dismiss a country of people who seem hardwired to resort to violence.

I answer because we must believe in things unseen. Or nothing good happens. The need to take action begins with a call to conscience, a belief in the possibility of the untried and unknown and a need to assert hope as a counterbalance to despair. Vaclav Havel speaks about this need in eloquent terms: “Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. It is this hope, above all, which gives strength to live and continually try new things.”

In the face of what may seem like insurmountable obstacles, Eli Wiesel warns us about the great evil of indifference.

Gandhi urges us to be the change we wish to see in the world. Rarely do we get to witness the resolution of the great social conflicts of our times but we can find meaning, even in the most difficult of circumstances, if we take part in the struggle to move humanity forward.

Our friend and mentor, David Edwards, an Afghan scholar, puts this task in very manageable terms. He talks about tilling one acre. The world we inhabit is full of problems. Pick one place. Choose one issue and maintain your focus. We live in a great country, one that allows you to respond whenever and wherever you find the need. For my family the overriding issue is diminishing the opportunities for terrorism to develop. We believe terrorism can more easily take root when the basic needs and rights of human beings are not met, where illiteracy is pervasive, when parents cannot feed their children or where there are no parents to care for children. Pema Chodran, an American Buddhist nun, tells us to help those you think you cannot help. Go to the places that scare you.

I am fortunate that in trying to understand the causes of 9/11, I was able to travel to Afghanistan. I thought I was going to build a school. I never expected that Afghans could help me understand and put into perspective my own suffering. Now I draw strength from their compassion and courage.

We depended on Americans and Afghans alike to teach us how to behave honorably and minimize the possibility of unintended harm. We drew on the hope of many who believed that education is a prerequisite for a free and just society. Hope and knowledge are the agents of real personal and social transformation.

What I hate most about 9/11 is that my child is remembered for the brutal and violent way he died, not for the way he lived. Peter Goodrich was a remarkable human being. He had an insatiable curiosity about life in all its various forms.

In his work for a software development company, he came to know and respect immigrants struggling to assimilate. Peter embraced them and the cultures from which they came. He was especially interested in the religions that gave meaning to their lives. As a result he read the Bible, the Qu’ran and other sacred text.

In the days immediately following the attack, I was comforted by one certainty: We loved Peter and he loved us. I was not just motivated by a need to respond to terrorism when we built a school in Afghanistan. We were continuing Peter’s journey.

Today we draw on his legacy of love to care for the Afghan exchange students for whom we are responsible and who fill a void we thought could never be filled. I urge you all to learn how to love well. Be assured that love or the memory of love will carry you through your darkest days and nights. Love never fails.

Graduations mark a great divide in our lives. “Start where you are.” You carry with you our hope for a better world. Go forth and join the great struggle. Farmington has equipped you well to direct your life in ways that are good for you and the overlapping communities of this small world. May you be remembered for the way you choose to live your life.

Thank you.