Picture day; a day that will live in infamy, as F.D.R would say. Most of us think of picture day as horrible as an immunization shot, or an introvert forced to speak in public. We prepare and stress; we must get the right outfit, the right hair cut, the right everything. For those of us who are not very photogenic, a complete makeover is in order to ensure we don’t break the camera. However, the only help that can be offered to us is that of a comb and the thoughtful suggestion of “The Touchup”. You know that lovely little device that makes you look like you want to. Then there are others of us who are practically perfect in every way. You know what I’m talking about; the type of people that could make a hobo outfit the latest fad; the ones who could wear no makeup and put a celebrity to shame. These people look forward to picture day as much as they look forward to cash in a birthday card. Theirs is the attitude of “Bring on the cameras!”

Let me compare and contrast. The top left picture is me. Yep, that’s me in all my glory, hundred direction hair and all. I’m not as confused as I look, really, I’m not. That’s my “I’m smooth” look. Pretty pathetic isn’t it. I fall into the immunization slot. Even I know that. Remember “The Touchup”? Yeah well, I’m not sure even that will help me much. Now let us focus on the picture on the top right, that is if you weren’t already. It’s ok if you were. I understand. I’m not offended. Jocelyn is the most photogenic person in our entire school, and the person we love to hate on picture day! I mean, admit it, even if you’re the most pessimistic person in the world, that’s a pretty good picture. “The Touchup” is out of a job when she comes up to the camera.

For most of us, picture day is over now and for those who fall into Jocelyn’s category, congratulations on yet another year of picture perfection. Now, for those you who join me in the land of photophobia, I offer my sincerest condolences, especially for those of you whose parents will turn your picture into a Christmas card. I am terribly sorry. Good luck. There’s always next year.