Man spots Jesus, lamb, lion on guitar
A biblical lineup on that six- string, eh? All I could make out after squinting at the painted guitar for a half-hour was what looked like a spaceman stuck in wet tar. Sort of. Or possibly Jacques Cousteau descending into the Black Sea in a football helmet. Somewhat. I didn’t make out a lion or lamb anywhere, although I thought I might have discerned a sunflower with nine petals missing. Kind of.
Scanner Land
Check it out. Now you can keep up with all the action from the police scanner through Twitter at Don’t know what Twitter is? Good for you, old-timer. I don’t need any more amateurs overreacting to early scanner calls and making me go out to barking dog complaints and burned popcorn.
Spring clean
That’s right, all the junk that Lewiston can haul from its collective basement is now going out to the curb in a perennial attempt to rid the city of that not-so-fresh feeling left over from winter. And as I do each spring, I’ll be compiling a list of the most absurd items spotted within the roadside mounds of detritus. One year, I caught a glimpse of the lower half of a mannequin sticking up from a garbage heap. She resides in my basement now. Her name is Becky and she’s mine, all mine.
So, you do any swapping at all?
Three minutes after I wrote the above, a woman stopped by to report that while things are disappearing from her own spring cleanup pile, other things are materializing there. One section of her heap was pilfered by professional street shoppers who left an item behind out of some apparent sense of trash-picking etiquette. The item that was swapped? “It was green and it’s either a chair or a box. I’m not sure which.”
The same woman reports that when she left an old stereo at the side of the road, it disappeared by the time she got inside and looked out her window. That breaks the standing scavenger record previously held by a seagull in Old Orchard Beach.
Everybody wants President Obama to get tough on the pirates. And while I’ll admit that these are not the same Pirates of Willie Stargell and Roberto Clemente days, I hardly think they need presidential interference. They’ve made some strides in the off season with starting pitching, after all, and they still have a little slugging left in their lineup. No one expects these boys from Pittsburgh to contend this year, but seriously. Obama has more pressing things to worry about, like all the crap going on over there off the coast of Africa.

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