DEAR ABBY: Tomorrow is Memorial Day. Please invite your millions of readers to observe the National Moment of Remembrance by pausing wherever they are at 3 p.m. in honor of our fallen.

Memorial Day (first called Decoration Day) began in 1868 to remember those killed in the Civil War. Since World War I, Memorial Day has been a time to honor all those who have died in service to our nation, from the Revolutionary War to the present.

To unite the country in remembrance, Congress officially established the National Moment of Remembrance in 2000. This act of unity is a time of reflection and commitment to honor America’s fallen. More than a million men and women have died for our freedom. Their sacrifices for us live on in each constitutional right we enjoy.

On Memorial Day, Major League Baseball games will stop, Amtrak trains will blow their whistles, and 6,200 Buglers Across America will play “Taps,” while citizens everywhere pause to honor those who sacrificed for our freedoms.

The National Moment of Remembrance is a small down payment in our debt to remember these precious souls. – CARMELLA LA SPADA, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, WHITE HOUSE COMMISSION ON REMEMBRANCE

DEAR CARMELLA: I hope my readers will take your letter to heart. Each of the men and women who laid down their lives for this country was someone loved and cherished by family and friends. They are deeply missed. We are all diminished by their deaths, as indeed, we are enriched by the example of their courage and dedication.

DEAR ABBY: When I was growing up in the late ’60s and ’70s, I heard very little profanity used. Today it seems like it is accepted. My husband often uses it, even though he knows I hate it.

When he’s mad at me, the filth is directed my way. That may be why profanity upsets me so much. Sometimes it makes me literally sick to my stomach.

Also, the most recent book by my favorite author includes many instances of the “F-word,” which she has never done before. I’m tempted to write her and say that I read her for pleasure and am put off by the language. Should I? – NON-CUSSER IN NEBRASKA

DEAR NON-CUSSER: When filth is directed at someone, it qualifies as verbal abuse, a weapon used to show contempt and destroy another person’s sense of self-worth. Of course, what it shows is that the swearer, besides being a bully, isn’t smart enough to come up with vocabulary that adequately describes his (or her) feelings powerfully enough to have them appreciated.

Because the verbal abuse your husband hurls at you is so hurtful it literally sickens you, it’s time for you to take a closer look at why you continue to tolerate it. And as to your favorite author, by all means write and tell her that as a loyal reader you thought her last book was a real turn-off and why.

DEAR ABBY: If someone says, “I owe you an apology,” but says nothing more, is that an apology? If an apology is “owed,” shouldn’t the person say, “I’m sorry”? – STILL MIFFED IN OCEANSIDE, CALIF.

DEAR STILL MIFFED: When someone says, “I owe you an apology,” it is an admission of guilt, not an apology. What you have described is a half-hearted, “miserly” effort to make amends. The apology is implied, but not clearly stated, and frankly, I can see why you’re still miffed.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

To order “How to Write Letters for All Occasions,” send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby – Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)


Only subscribers are eligible to post comments. Please subscribe or login first for digital access. Here’s why.

Use the form below to reset your password. When you've submitted your account email, we will send an email with a reset code.