1st lady told him to stop affair

SULLIVANS ISLAND, S.C. (AP) — South Carolina first lady Jenny Sanford sat in her oceanfront living
room Friday, recalling how her husband repeatedly asked permission to visit his
lover in the months after she discovered his affair.

“I said absolutely not. It’s one thing to forgive adultery; it’s another
thing to condone it,” Jenny Sanford told The Associated Press during a 20-minute
interview at the coastal home where she sought refuge with their four sons. They
were her first extended comments on the affair.

She said that when her husband, Gov. Mark Sanford, inexplicably disappeared
last week, she hoped he was hiking on the Appalachian Trail, as his staff told
those who inquired about his absence. That he had dared to go to Argentina to
see the other woman left her stunned.

“He was told in no uncertain terms not to see her,” she said in a strong,
steady voice. “I was hoping he was on the Appalachian Trail. But I was not
worried about his safety. I was hoping he was doing some real soul searching
somewhere and devastated to find out it was Argentina. It’s tragic.”

The Sanfords had separated about two weeks ago. She said her husband told the
family that he wanted some time away to work on writing a book and clear his
head. The first lady said, “I had every hope he was not going to see her.”

“You would think that a father who didn’t have contact with his children, if
he wanted those children, he would toe the line a little bit,” she said.

Sanford, who is staying at the official residence in Columbia, returned
Wednesday to end days of speculation on his whereabouts, publicly confess his
cheating and emotionally apologize.

Jenny Sanford, a Georgetown-educated, former Wall Street vice president, did
not stand next to her husband Wednesday during his pained public confession.

Sanford said she discovered her husband’s affair early this year after coming
across a copy of a letter to the mistress in one of his files in the official
governor’s mansion. He had asked her to find some financial information, she
said, not an unusual request considering her heavy involvement in his

She would not comment on what was in the letter except to say “enough to
figure out an affair was going on.”

She felt “shocked and obviously deeply hurt. I didn’t think he had it in
him,” she said. “It’s hard to find out your husband is not who you thought he

The first lady said she confronted her husband immediately, and he agreed to
end the affair. She said she wasn’t sure Friday whether he had done so.

“I guess that’s what we will have to see. I believe he has,” she said. “But
he was down there for five days. I saw him yesterday and he is not staying here.
We’ll just see what kind of spirit of reconciliation he has himself.”

The governor declined to discuss details of the letter and how he handled it
with his wife.

“This goes into the personal zone,” Sanford said Friday. “I’d simply say that
Jenny has been absolutely magnanimous and gracious as a wonderful Christian
woman in this process.”

Jenny Sanford cried at the end of the interview, and said the couple have
been to counseling.

“When I found out in January, we both indicated a willingness to continue
working on the marriage, but there’s not room for three people in a marriage,”
she said. “I’ve done everything in my power possibly to keep him from going to
see her and to really make sure she was off the table, including asking him to

About an hour after Jenny Sanford talked of her pain and feelings of
betrayal, her husband brushed aside any suggestion he might immediately resign,
citing the Bible and the story of King David — who continued to lead after
sleeping with another man’s wife, Bathsheba, having the
husband slain, then marrying the widow.

“What I find interesting is the story of David, and the way in which he fell
mightily — fell in very, very significant ways, but then picked up the pieces
and built from there,” Sanford told members of his cabinet in a session called
so he could apologize to them in person and tell them the business of government
must continue.

Meanwhile, questions grew about a trip to Argentina he took last summer.
While Sanford has agreed to reimburse the state for part of a more-than $8,000
tab that enabled him to see the mistress, state officials indicated they never
intended a South American economic development trip to
hold meetings in Argentina. That was only done at the governor’s behest, said
Kara Borie, a spokeswoman for the state Commerce Department.

Sanford spokesman Joel Sawyer said he did not immediately know whether
Sanford’s request for business meetings would have allowed him to have taxpayers
cover the entire Argentina visit.

Some Republican leaders have called for Sanford to resign and some lawmakers
and watchdog groups are pressing for investigations into whether he improperly
used state money.

For Jenny Sanford, the focus is the couple’s four sons. During her interview,
she wept as she displayed the stellar report cards earned by her eldest two sons
at their exclusive private school in Columbia.

On the coffee table was a collection of devotional books, including a book of
commentary on the Bible’s Book of Job, the story of a man whose faith God tests
to the extreme.

“Parenting is the most important job there is and what Mark has done has
added a serious weight to that job,” she said.

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