Interviewing a losing coach is never easy.

After going down in defeat in a tough game, most coaches are pretty disappointed or emotional, if not both.

You might get hardly anything in terms of a comment, and you might just get a “leave me alone” glare. Or a coach just might say something stupid and me standing there with a digital recorder in hand, might not be the time to say it.

I talked to a coach during the current softball playoffs that decided to air all his grievances in one irate statement. He accused the opposing team of poor sportsmanship while displaying a far less level of civility himself.

His team had watched an early lead disappear and watched the opposition rally in the late innings to win the game by a run. It was a disappointing end for a team that had high hopes this season. Instead of praising his team’s effort and giving credit to the victors for their poise and ability to come from behind, he complained. His grapes weren’t sour, they were downright bitter.

He accused the opposing coach of gamesmanship and then accused the other school’s athletic director of something similar because they didn’t schedule the game to his liking, even though the game was scheduled at the time set by the Maine Principal’s Association.

The coach spouted off all his grievances, said he had nothing good to say and then walked away.

I talked to the opposing coach about those charges, and he had reasonable explanations, which made the sour grapes even more distasteful.

I was prepared to use the upset coaches comments in my story. I thought that if these complaints were being levelled and used as an excuse, I should give the other school opportunity to answer. A call from the team’s assistant coach helped convince me that the coach’s comments didn’t truly represent the rest of the coaching staff or the players or the school. I ultimately felt that it wasn’t fair to disparage so many others for one coach’s inflammatory statements, especially when they really had nothing to do with the game and didn’t fit in the game story.

This coach obviously did not do his team, his school or himself proud. He tried to disparage the opposition but only made himself look bad. It made me wonder if his obsession with these details he couldn’t control had far more effect on him and his team than any so-called gamesmanship by his foes.

In this day and age, it isn’t surprising to see a coach blame anybody and everybody else for his team’s failures. Playing the blame game is a popular sport. At the high school level, it is disappointing to see, especially considering that these are supposed to be learning situations and coaches are expected to be teachers and role models.

Fortunately, this week,  I saw far more examples of coaches demonstrating the kind of sportsmanship and respect you’d hope to see at this level.

I watched Georges Valley, Maranacook and Buckfield all suffer tough defeats in their respective regional finals. It was a heartbreaking moment for girls who had their hopes set on a regional title. Both Georges Valley and Maranacook stood in line and at attention as it clapped and recognized the achievements of the team that beat them. Their faces were full of tears but their actions displayed respect and honor. Buckfield retreated to its dugout but much of its team stood and applauded as well.

The coaches afterward, commended the other teams. The Georges Valley coach, whose team lost a close game when the winning hit landed on the foul line, took the loss with grace and respect for the game and the opposition. The Maranacook coach talked about what a great learning experience it was for his kids and what fun it was to be part of regional final. The Buckfield coach credited Richmond, his team’s rival. He said his team was disappointed, but that they understood they couldn’t win every game.

Losing isn’t easy and it isn’t fun. Nobody likes to lose. But I think it has to feel a whole lot better when you lose graciously, respect your opponent and find the good in your performance and experience than to feel bitter and angry over the result. I’m glad I was witness to more positive examples of that than negative ones, but I feel bad for the players that likely had their experience tainted a little by their coach’s frustration and lack of judgement. Losses can be forgotten but looking bad when you lose just might linger.

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