DEAR ABBY: My widowed father-in-law is 77 and my mom is 71. I try to spend time with them so they won’t be lonely. The problem is they now have only one interest — gambling. They are only happy if someone will take them to a casino. A simple dinner or movie is no longer wanted.

I don’t mind going once in a while. The closest casino is 90 miles away. But it ends up being an all-day affair, with me gambling money I would prefer not to let go of that way. I have brought books and spent time reading in the car or in restaurants, but that’s not quality time, either.

They think that because my husband is successful, I should have no problem with money. Abby, I am careful how I spend money. You can’t be in a casino for four hours and not lose a lot of money. Now they’re mad at me because I don’t want to take them anymore. Mom even wanted to stretch out the trip to an overnighter. Help! — BETTING I’M RIGHT IN OHIO

DEAR BETTING: You are a caring wife and daughter. But it appears your mother and father-in-law are less interested in spending time with you than in spending time in the casino. If they can afford it, that should be their privilege, but you are all adults — and if your concept of a social get-together involves more than sitting in front of a slot machine or repeating, “Deal me in!” then you’re right to refuse to be used as transportation. Many seniors visit casinos in groups, using buses to get there and back, and so can your relatives. Don’t feel guilty about it.

DEAR ABBY: My darling wife passed away after 38 years of marriage. After she died, her sister and I began talking on the phone as a way to get me through a very difficult time. A year later, I finally asked her to dinner.

We have discovered we have feelings for each other. Do you think there is anything wrong with this, and are we wrong for spending time together? — CONSOLED IN ALABAMA

DEAR CONSOLED: Not only is there nothing wrong with it, there is a lot right with it. After being in-laws for nearly four decades, you have a wealth of shared history. And that can be the basis of a strong relationship.

DEAR ABBY: On April 6, you printed my letter about having been sent a photocopy of a high school graduation announcement. No picture was included, nor a card — just the photocopy folded into a cheap envelope. (The “real” ones had been sent to more “important” people!) You called me to discuss my letter, and your call made my day.

My mom happened to call me right after I got off the phone, and when I told her my letter was being printed in your column, she informed me that she had actually received a photocopy of a thank-you card that day, from the same person I was talking about in my letter. These people continue to floor me.

Anyway, I hope this is the last “photocopy” story you’ll be getting about them. But who knows? There could still be photocopies of wedding invitations and birth announcements in the future. — EVEN MORE FLABBERGASTED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR EVEN MORE FLABBERGASTED: Indeed there could. Obviously the folks you described in your letter aren’t DearAbby readers. It’s lucky you have a sense of humor. With friends like those you need one.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Copy the Story Link