This may come as a surprise: Shopping Siren is a Red Sox fan.

Sure, I like high heels and fuzzy animals and shiny things, but a David Ortiz grand slam in the bottom of the ninth when Boston’s down three behind the Yankees? Love.

This Red Sox obsession is fairly new. I didn’t fall for the team until 2003, when Manny was Manny but in a good way. They lost their chance at a title that year, as they’d lost the year before and the year before that and the year before that. But while my heartbreak was sharp, it was also short. The Red Sox won the World Series in 2004, 86 years after their last win … and just one year after I started watching them. Coincidence?

Well, let’s just say there’s a lucky hat in my closet that won’t be going to charity anytime soon.

Yet it’s become painfully clear that either the World Series wins of 2004 and 2007 wrung all of the luck out of it or a single cap isn’t enough to overcome a season’s worth of team-crippling injuries. (Jacoby, come back!) As of Thursday, with only 16 games left to play, the Red Sox are six games back from the wild card. The. Wild. Card.  Across New England, frustrated fans are tossing their TV remotes onto the coffee table and muttering, “%#&@.”

However, I’m optimistic! I have faith! I have a plan! 

More good luck charms.

* Red Sox key chain, Republic Jewelry and Collectibles, $5.95

Forget the rabbit’s foot (bad for bunnies and so 1983). Try hanging the team logo from your keys. Although the Red Sox apparently damage easily, this acrylic charm won’t.

* Fitted ball caps, Republic Jewelry, $18.98

Turn your ball cap inside out, upside down, backward — whatever you need to do to change bad luck to good. My choice: a white hat with green lettering and a green shamrock on the back. Luck o’ the Irish beats poor pitching every time. 

* Limited edition Curt Schilling silver medallion, Republic Jewelry, $34.95

In 2004, pitcher Curt Schilling beat the Yankees in Game 6 of the American League Championship, a win that helped get the Red Sox through the championship and launch them into the World Series. But during that game, Schilling was playing hurt. Very hurt. Torn-stitches-and-a-bloody-sock hurt. Now, that’s the kind of determination to be honored with a silver coin.

* Baseball bat dust, Republic Jewelry, $13.95

Tiny packets of sawdust from the bats of some of the greatest players of all time, including Roberto Clemente, Ty Cobb and Willie Mays. Leave the salt in the kitchen and try tossing a pinch of this over your shoulder.

* Knee socks, Olympia Sports, $9.98

Red, white and blue striped knee socks with a Red Sox “B” at the top. Embarrassing to wear to work? Perhaps. Lucky? Definitely.

* Legends T-shirts, Olympia Sports, $20 each or 2 for $32

Tired of buying shirts with the name and number of your favorite players only to have said players break their ribs/ankle/pinkie a week later and spend the rest of the season on the bench? With the legends, you don’t have to worry about that. Plus, these antique beige men’s T-shirts just might help summon the spirits of Carl Yastrzemski or Ted Williams. Hey, the Red Sox can use all the help they can get.

* Mini Wally the Green Monster mascot, Cards-R-N, $16.95

When the team’s behind, stand the stuffed Wally on his head for luck. No, I’m not making up this one. It’s an actual superstition.  

* Dry erase board, Cards-R-N, $7.95

Board gives you win/loss columns to track the team’s progress. For the next 16 games, just go ahead and fill in “win, win, win.” Sure, some people may call that delusional. I call it positive thinking. 

Best find: Red Sox desk calendar, Olympia Sports, 96 cents

The year is three-fourths over and the regular baseball season is nearly at an end. But who says you can’t flip the calendar back to the bygone days of healthy players and win after win? I know mine will display mid-June for the next six months.  

Think twice:  Red Sox Monopoly game, Republic Jewelry, $23.95

Do Red Sox fans really need to lose in more and different ways? I think not. So step away from the board game and go outside. Enjoy the cool weather. Maybe toss a ball around. Because there’s always next year.   

Shopping Siren’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who deeply bury anything Yankees in the backyard) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com.

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