Abacus is the store you go to when you’re tired of all the other shops everywhere else.

There are no precision-distanced aisles. No signs screaming “SALE!” No generic plastic toys or mass-market shiny things piled on display tables.

Not that we have anything against mass-market shiny things. Our bread and butter, really.

But at Abacus you’ve got the official Friendship Oven Squirrel. How many retailers can say that?

Located in an old Cape near the edge of Freeport’s shopping district, Abacus is an artsy shop filled with unique jewelry, handmade furniture and what HGTV would call “design elements.” (Those things you don’t need for your home, exactly, but definitely want a whole heck of a lot as soon as you see them.)

Steam punk clocks, metalwork creatures by Richard Kolb, cards, plain awesome stuff.

There was a lot to want. In week three of The Other Freeport, it made for a natural stop.

Abacus

In a word: Fanciful.

* Tokyo Bay robot alarm clocks, $49

Black or silver, about 4 inches tall, infinitely cool. C’mon. It’s a robot.

* Oh, Snap! beechwood cutting board and cheese slicer, $22.50

Painted up to look exactly like an ACME mouse trap, but people-sized. This is probably going under the Christmas tree of someone on Bag Lady’s list.

* Gnome on a rope soap, $12.50

The Travelocity traveling gnome’s cousin, we’re fairly certain.

* Jellycat stuffed orange aardvark, $26

Soooo soft. Which you may not expect from an aardvark.

* Iowan artist’s chair and ottoman, $3,450

Really fine sewing, carving and painting, with “Read a book” and “Chit Chat” painted along the side … and the ironic “Who has time to sit?” along the front edge. Handmade by an artist in Iowa. If either of us ever wins the lottery, this will be our first purchase. After the mansion, pool, pool boy and “Entertainment Weekly” subscription.

* Metal moose, $298

The size of a large dog, this metal moose sculpture greets visitors as they descend the stairs to Abacus’ lower floor. Broad antlers, soulful eyes, sturdy base that not even the Dobermans could destroy — what’s not to love? After the chair and ottoman, mansion, pool, pool boy and “Entertainment Weekly” subscription, this would be our sixth lottery windfall purchase. We would call him Fred.

* Friendship Oven Squirrel, $27.50

Flying-squirrel-sized wooden body with a glass red eye. For taking things out of the oven (using its hooked nose and ears) and for extending a hand in — presumably — friendship. The squirrel looked like a Jeff to us, but buy it and you secure naming rights.

* Baseball kaleidoscope, $36

Turn the baseball, see pretty colors inside. Forget the World Series, Red Sox fans. This is a good way to bide your time until next baseball season.  

* Glass ornament, $28

Clear glass ball with glitter and a flamingo or Christmas tree inside. Don’t hesitate. Go flamingo.

* Maine plate CD holder, $24.95

Maine licence plates folded and turned into CD holders. So rarely does an item’s name capture its full function.

* Hanging cursive metal words, various prices

“Joy” can be yours for $36. That may be the best offer you get today.

* Prices as of 9/29

Next week: What can it be but Halloween?

Bag Lady and Shopping Siren’s true identities are protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who, once again, wonder why gnomes get all the glory) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach them at baglady@sunjournal.com or shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com.

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