AUBURN — One by one their candles filled the hall with an amber glow. One by one they said the names of their loved ones whose lives were cut short.

The cherished memories of 13 children, grandchildren, brothers and sisters were celebrated by more than 30 people during a candlelight vigil at St. Phillips Church in Auburn on Sunday evening. The emotional event hosted by the local chapter of Compassionate Friends — a support network for families who have lost a child — was one of more than 500 such services held nationwide as part the 14th Annual Worldwide Candle Lighting.

“The loss of a child is the most difficult loss any parent will ever have to endure,” said Norma Gross, 51, of Auburn. “It’s that grief that makes it hard to put one foot in front of the other, no matter how your child died.”

Gross, who helped organize Sunday’s service, lost her 22-year-old son, Dustin, to suicide three years ago. She was one of several people who spoke and read poems during the service. Like many of those gathered, she credited Compassionate Friends with being something of an oasis where she can speak freely about her grief without feeling the pressure to “get over it” that she often feels outside that circle of support.

“I’ve got people who say ‘You must be over it by now.’ And it’s like, you’re never over it,” said Dale Moore, 45, of Lisbon Falls. “But here, everybody understands. They know it.”

Moore and his family lit candles honoring his son, Ryan. The 17-year-old athlete, who aspired to be a youth pastor, died in a tragic car crash four years ago this month.

Moore said he tried the grief-counseling route, but soon realized that he didn’t connect with the counselor because their experiences were world’s apart. Two months later, he discovered Compassionate Friends and a found himself at home among people who truly understood his pain and loss.

“It’s just a matter of being with people who have been through what you’ve been through,” Moore’s wife, Julie, said. “Nothing compares, and nothing is the same after.”

Gross added that, “It’s a new normal. You know? Because you can’t go back to the normal you had before.”

Her observation was met by nods around the small table in the church hall where the families gathered to pay homage to their loved ones.

Drena Sullivan, who also helped organize Sunday’s event, said it’s important to honor lost loved ones around the holidays for many different reasons. For the 31-year-old Lewiston woman, honoring her baby girl, Jade Madison, is her way of remembering the life-long lesson she learned in the girl’s short three hours on earth.

“Even though she wasn’t she wasn’t here very long, I learned a lot from her,” Sullivan said. “I learned the true meaning of unconditional love. She taught me how to be strong.”

Sullivan said that Compassionate Friends welcomes anyone grieving the loss of a child, grandchild or sibling. Some of those lighting candles Sunday offered small prayers for loved ones who died in car accidents or from illness. Some prayed for children who died at their own hands or at the hands of others.

Each candle seemed to instill peace and comfort, and those attending found mutual support. Grieving family members gathered around the room in clusters. But tears slowly turned to talk about upcoming family events or holiday memories of their loved ones.

“We’ve all become close friends,” said Chris Wentzell, who was there Sunday to honor his brother, Jason. “We’ve gotten to that point where we learned that we can laugh again.”

Anyone interested in learning more about Compassionate Friends can contact Sullivan at (207) 557-8202, or e-mail her at [email protected]

AUBURN – One by one their candles filled the hall with an amber glow and their hearts with warmth. One by one their voices sounded with the names of loved ones whose lives were cut short – too short.

The cherished memories of 13 children, grandchildren, brothers and sisters lost forever were celebrated by more than 30 people during a candlelight vigil at St. Phillips Church in Auburn on Sunday evening. The emotional event hosted by the local chapter of Compassionate Friends – a support network for families who have lost a child – was one of more than 500 such services held nationwide as part the 14th Annual Worldwide Candle Lighting.

“The loss of a child is the most difficult loss any parent will ever have to endure,” said Norma Gross, 51, of Auburn. “It’s that grief that makes it hard to put one foot in front of the other, no matter how your child died.”

Gross, who helped organize Sunday’s service, lost her 22-year-old son, Dustin, to suicide three years ago. She was one of several people who spoke and read poems during the service. Like many of those gathered, she credited Compassionate Friends with being something of an oasis where she could speak freely about her grief without feeling the pressure to “get over it” that she often feels outside that circle of support.

“I’ve got people who say ‘You must be over it by now.’ And it’s like, you’re never over it,” said Dale Moore, 45, of Lisbon Falls. “But here, everybody understands. They know it.”

Moore and his family lit candles honoring his son, Ryan. The 17-year-old athlete who aspired to be a youth pastor died in a tragic car crash four years ago this month.

Moore said he tried the grief counseling route, but soon realized that he didn’t connect with the counselor because their experiences were world’s apart. Two months later, he discovered Compassionate Friends and a found himself at home among people who truly understood his pain and loss.

“It’s just a matter of being with people who have been through what you’ve been through,” said Moore’s wife, Julie. “Nothing compares, and nothing is the same after.”

Gross adds quickly that, “It’s a new normal. You know? Because you can’t go back to the normal you had before.”

Her observation is met by nods around the small table in the church hall where the families gathered to pay homage to their loved ones.

Drena Sullivan, who also helped organize Sunday’s event, said it’s important to honor lost loved ones around the holidays for many different reasons. For the 31-year-old Lewsiton woman, honoring her baby girl, Jade Madison, is her way of remembering the life-long lesson she learned in the girl’s short three hours on earth.

“Even though she wasn’t she wasn’t here very long, I learned a lot from her,” Sullivan said. “I learned the true meaning of unconditional love. She taught me how to be strong.”

Sullivan said that Compassionate Friends welcomes anyone grieving the loss of a child, grandchild or sibling. Some of those lighting candles Sunday offered small prayers for loved ones who died in car accidents or illness. Some prayed for children who died at their own hands or the hands of others.

With each candle seemed to come peace and comfort found only in the support those who can best understand such loss in the face of holiday festivities. Gathered around the room in cluster, their tears slowly

“We’ve all become close friends,” said Chris Wentzell, who was there Sunday to honor his brother, Jason. “