The Greek Orthodox wedding is “an ancient service,” dating back to the fourth and fifth centuries, according to Vicki Toppses, MTS, presbytera of the Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church in Lewiston, Maine. A Guide to Greek Traditions and Customs In America, authored by Marilyn Rouvelas, describes the wedding ceremony as “pristinely Greek Orthodox, unchanged for centuries.”

Although they had met once, many years earlier, Vicki Toppses fell in love with her husband, Ted Toppses, presbyter, while they were both students at the Holy Cross Greek Orthodox School of Theology in Brookline, Massachusetts. Together, they have provided support and services to the congregation in Lewiston since 2001.

Their own wedding, like that of her parents, was a traditional Greek Orthodox service and was, in fact, officiated by the son of the priest who had married her parents.

As with most weddings, the bride and groom choose their wedding party, but essentially the similarities stop there. The Greek Orthodox wedding couple also selects a Koumbaros (male) and Koumbara (female) whose roles are similar to a godparent or sponsor. It is required that both are Orthodox Christians. Traditionally, they would also have been godparents to the bride and groom.

In modern times, however, the wedding couple may choose close friends or people whose judgment they trust and can rely upon. The role of the Koumbari is to provide lifelong guidance to the couple, and the marriage ceremony creates a spiritual bond between the couple and the Koumbari who become “part of the family.”

The ceremony itself is as rich in spirituality and symbolism as it is in tradition and history. Unlike other weddings, a Greek Orthodox ceremony is never conducted “outside of the church.” The belief is that God is uniting the two, and the union must occur in a house of God. Gardens, beaches and other destination weddings, according to Toppses, are not allowed.

There are two distinct parts to the ceremony. The first is called the betrothal, or the blessing of the rings. Toppses explained that in years past this part of the ceremony was done prior to the wedding day, at such a time as when other couples might have an engagement party. Now, it is done on the same day as the wedding. According to Rouvelas’ text, “the priest blesses the rings and touches the forehead of the bride and groom with them.”

“Rings are put on the right hands” and the Koumbari “exchange the rings three times, symbolizing the complimentary role of husband and wife.” Toppses further explained that rings are traditionally worn on the right hand because “in the Bible, it is the hand of honor.” After the ceremony, the bride and groom may choose to wear their rings on their left hand, rather than the right.

During the second part of the ceremony, when the marriage takes place, the bride and groom face the alter and stand in front of a small table that holds the Gospel, several candles and two crowns made of flowers and linked together by silk ribbons. The lit candle on the table symbolizes the “light of Christ.” The bride and groom are each given a lit candle to remind them “of the light of Christ who is with them through the sacrament and their coming life together.”

“The joining of hands,” according to Rouvelas, is “to make them one in spirit and flesh and grant them the joy of children.” The purpose of the crowns is twofold. First, the bride and groom are the queen and king of the household and the silk ribbon that joins the crown symbolizes the bond between them. Also, the crown is the couples’ acknowledgement that there will be both joy and sorrow in their lives together. The priest puts the crowns on the couples’ heads and, as with the rings, the Koumbari exchange the crowns three times to symbolize the equality of the man and woman.

After the crowning, two specific passages from the Bible are read aloud. From Rouvelas’ text: “In the Epistle of St. Paul to the Ephesians, Paul talks of love and respect [and] the reading from the Gospel of St. John relates the story of Christ at the wedding in Cana of Galilee and his miracle of changing water into wine.” The last part of the ceremony is Toppses’ favorite. In “The Dance of Isaiah,” the priest leads the wedding couple around the small table three times. The Koumbari hold ribbons attached to the joined crowns worn by the couple. This ritual signifies the couple’s first steps as husband and wife and personifies the scripture verse, “I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my whole being shall exult in my God” (Isaiah 61:10). By the third revolution, with hands joined and the love and protection of Christ, the Koumbari and each other established and honored, and with the blessing of the priest, “this is the moment that they are truly united as husband and wife.”

As with other weddings, the Greek Orthodox wedding ceremony is followed by a reception. According to Toppses, “the Greeks love to dance and party.” Wedding favors always include koufeta. Koufeta is “an odd number of white almonds wrapped in thule.” The almonds signify fertility and prosperity. Although the food served at receptions may be different than your typical wedding fare, and the traditional dances have a definite Greek flair, the purpose of the reception is the same, in that it celebrates the love and potential of the newly married couple.

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