Unless you’ve been living under a 40-pound wiener schnitzel, you’ve seen the commercials.

“Sausage Kitchen, mmm, mmm.”

Maybe it’s the second mmm, but there’s no denying those ads piqued our interest.

What is this Sausage Kitchen? Is it strictly sausage? And can it be shopped?

Yes, yes it can.

In the last week of our Lisbon Falls road trip, we saunter into Sausage Kitchen. It’s located inside a Main Street building with a brick facade and heavy wooden door, making the place look like it could have been a fashionable pub in another life. The only thing to be drunk here: meat. And, if you’re desperate, pickle juice and horseradish.

The inside is small and neat, with a freezer, a long refrigerator case and a middle-of-the-room display of cheese and other non-meat goods. Some product isn’t too obviously marked, and to avoid a few rounds of How much is this sausage? That one? And that one there? we relied on their website for some prices.

Sausage Kitchen’s brochure describes, in detail, no fewer than 22 kinds of sausage made on the premises of “choice meats from humanely raised animals that have received no growth hormones or antibiotics, and are vegetarian fed.” Phew. That’s a mouthful.

Mmm, mmm.

* Large pork pie (tortiere), $15

As suggested on the website: “Serve with a bit of ketchup and a nice salad.” Because a nice salad totally rights the caloric wrongs of 3 pounds of pork and pie. As we’ve long suspected.

* Trail Jerky, $29/pound (in $3-ish packets)

Very jerked (read: dry) and Mr. Bag Lady got a few mouthfuls of extra spice, but it wasn’t the least bit greasy or over-processed. Jerky connoisseurs, take note. 

* Beer sausage, $8.95/pound

Nothing to drink? We stand corrected.

* Robert Rothschild Farm Onion Blossom Horseradish Dip, 11.2 oz., $6.99

Mr. Rothschild, you nailed it. Members of the Bag house are huge fans of Bugaboo Creek’s blooming onion and its divine, orange-y sauce. This taste was spot-on. Homemade blooming onions for all!

* Gundelsheim Schwabentopf Pickles, 57.4 ounces, $9.89

A Gundelsheim-worth of pickles. Say that three times fast.

* Raye’s Mustards, 4 oz., $2.29

We may be too chicken to try the white-hot White Lightning (the company’s 25th flavor, according to rayesmustard.com) but Sweet & Spicy sounds our speed.

* Mac’s Gourmet popcorn, salt-and-vinegar or cheddar cheese, 5 oz., $2.50

Popcorn and meat! And why not? However, salt-and-vinegar-flavored popcorn? That we’re not so sure about. 

* Creton, half-pound, $6.95

A classic pork spread. Or so we’re told. Although we happily spread many things, most are in the butter family.

Best find: Sausage gift box, $49.95

Choose from German, Old World, Spanish or The Isles gift boxes. The kind of sausages you get depends on the theme you choose (kielbasa and bratwurst for German, English bangers for The Isles). Boxes also include two jars of Raye’s Mustards and a wedge of Cabot’s 2-year-old sharp cheese. Want to mix and match? Get the custom gift box for $15.95, plus the cost of the sausage. A great way to sample the Sausage Kitchen’s wares. C’mon, you know you want to.

Think twice: Landjager Sticks, $24/pound (in $3-ish packets)

The label describes these meaty strips as “The German Army equivalent to U.S. Army K rations” and “High protein food for people on the move.” That says survival, but it doesn’t say tasty, and we’re all about the mmm, mmm.

Bag Lady and Shopping Siren’s true identities are protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who savor both trails and jerky) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach them at [email protected] and [email protected]


Only subscribers are eligible to post comments. Please subscribe or to participate in the conversation. Here’s why.

Use the form below to reset your password. When you've submitted your account email, we will send an email with a reset code.