2 min read

FARMINGTON — Male hospital employees, volunteers, town officials and local legislators were invited Tuesday to “pledge support in becoming a part of the solution to bring an end to domestic violence.

Jerry Cayer, executive vice president of Franklin Memorial Hospital, said that by example and by leadership, men will teach that strength and manhood are not defined by violence or domination. “This is about us, as men. There are no excuses, period,” he told the approximately 50 men gathered in the hospital lobby.

Two women and two children have been killed in towns not far from Farmington during the last two weeks, Cayer wrote in his invitation. One man was a husband, the other estranged and the father of two children. One of the women was a graduate of the University of Maine at Farmington.

“This violence is far too common in our state and it is unacceptable,” he said.

There have been six domestic violence-related killings in Maine this year. There were nine in 2010 and there were eight in 2009, he told the men.

Women employees stood nearby watching, prompting Cayer to ask why the lobby was the site for the gathering.

Advertisement

“To let them know we are not going to hurt (women), and there are no excuses,” he said.

Serving a tour in Iraq, Iran or Vietnam is not an excuse. Financial challenges are not an excuse. Neither is losing a job or divorcing your partner, Cayer said.

He called the gathering a solemn time because it is men who are killing these women and children. They are terrorizing, pulling the trigger and making excuses, he said.

“We, as men, by example and by leadership, must teach that strength and manhood are not defined by violence or domination. We must take a stronger role in supporting the healthy development of our boys,” Cayer said. “Healthy men do not pull triggers of guns aimed at women and children.”

Urging those present to stand together in a singular voice, he told them “we … must be the ones to say there are no excuses for these acts of cowardice and domestic violence.”

Hospital Chaplain Tim Walmer reminded the men that abuse is about the control of life, and trying to free oneself from that control is a huge challenge.

Advertisement

As a chaplain, he hears abusers trying to justify their acts on religious grounds, he said, but “God was very clear how we’re to treat each other … as we would want to be treated ourselves.”

Afterward, Walmer commended groups such as Safe Voices and Sexual Assault Victims Emergency Services that have done much work on domestic violence, but now “it’s time for us men to step up the plate,” he said.

The Healthy Community Coalition has been charged with working on the “no excuses” program, Cayer said.

Cayer passed out bumper stickers stating “there are no excuses” as each man came forward to sign the pledge.

[email protected]

Comments are no longer available on this story