Since the horrible domestic violence murders that have occurred recently, we have received dozens of calls requesting service or asking questions such as, “How can I help?” and “How can things like this happen?”

Unfortunately, domestic violence is at epidemic proportions. It is a societal problem that affects life at home, work, school and in the community at large.

The victims are predominately women, although nationally, 7 percent of victims are men, and it also affects the children in the family.

The recent murders have galvanized many victims of domestic violence to flee the situation and find safety.

One thing to remember is that people who create this violence choose to do so. There are many other ways to deal with their frustrations.

Some people think that a person strikes out at their intimate partner because they have lost a job, or drank too much, or because the victim made them mad. These are not reasons for domestic abuse.

The real reason is that the batterers want control over the victims. The aggressors want to mentally abuse, hit, strangle, stalk or kill their intimate partners or, in some cases, the whole family. It is a deliberate choice.

According to the most recent published statistics, in 2009 there were 5,287 domestic assaults in Maine, 97.6 percent of which involved personal weapons (hands, fists and feet). Androscoggin County accounted for 609 domestic assaults, Franklin County had 116 and Oxford County had 239. Those statistics indicate that one domestic assault is reported in the tri-county area every 1 hour and 39 minutes.

The mission of Safe Voices, formerly the Abused Women’s Advocacy Project, is to support and empower those affected by domestic abuse and to create social change in Franklin, Androscoggin and Oxford counties.

It is a three-pronged mission — to support the victims, help educate the community and eradicate domestic violence. Safe Voices provides shelter, assistance with legal procedures, support groups, education in schools and in the community, and we offer a 48-week Alternatives to Abuse course for men who have chosen violence with their partners.

So how can the public help?

The best time to offer assistance is before tragedy strikes. You can ask someone directly if you suspect abuse in his or her home. Ask, “Do you feel safe at home?” If the answer is no, encourage them to call our 24-hour help line.

You can report to the local police department any incidents of screaming, yelling or anything else you see or hear that makes you think abuse is happening.

You can volunteer at domestic violence agencies, or you can help them with fundraising efforts.

Finally, you can call Safe Voices’ 24-hour help line: 1-800-559-2927.

 Jane Morrison is executive director of Safe Voices.