Once you’ve chosen your wedding gown, it’s time to look for bridesmaid gowns. The most common complaint of bridesmaids is that the bride selects a costly dress inappropriate for any other occasion, thereby dooming it to spend the rest of eternity in the back of a closet or sold for pennies at a garage sale. The wise bride pursues bridesmaid gowns from the perspective of the women she has chosen to stand by her side—after all, it is the bridesmaids who typically pay for the gowns.

In Julius Caesar’s time, it was customary for everyone in the wedding party to dress the same. It was believed that demons would descend upon the bridal couple, causing mayhem, so by dressing alike, the demon wouldn’t find the bridal couple. Worrying about demons is no longer a problem, but until recent years the trend has continued. Bridesmaid dresses do not have to be identical; as a matter of fact, very few dress designs fit all women equally. Because everyone’s financial situation is different, it is now appropriate for each bridesmaid to select their own gown, following guidelines set by the bride. This allows the bridesmaid to spend within her budget.

As the bride, your main concern is the overall appearance and tone of the bridal party. You’ll want coordinated styles and colors, not a mishmash of designs that look more like pieces to a jigsaw puzzle. Start by considering color. You’ll want the women in your party to be comfortable wearing their gown and looking their loveliest, so choose a color or a combination of colors or tones that will flatter them. Consider the setting of the wedding when choosing color. For an indoor wedding, note the colors of the walls or room decorations. For an outdoor wedding, know what, if any, plants will be blooming at the time of your wedding, so you can plan to coordinate with your surroundings. You might even consider the little black dress which is flattering and formal.

Once you have chosen a color or range of colors, decide on dress length. Floor-length dresses are appropriate for the most formal weddings, but they don’t offer many opportunities to be worn again. Mid-length dresses offer bridesmaids more versatility and can be equally elegant.

Style is the next factor to consider. Do you want clean, simple lines or frilly lace and sequins? What type of fabric would you prefer? Sleeve length is important, too. All dresses should have sleeves of similar length. Short, long, spaghetti straps—it is up to you to decide.

Accessories are another important consideration. The bridesmaids don’t all have to wear the same style of shoe, but they should be the same color. If you elect for the bridesmaids to wear white gloves, which is an especially nice touch to complement short-sleeved gowns in the summer, direct them to antique stores where they are usually available for under $10. Look for ads that mention vintage clothing or ladies’ hats. Most often, gloves are considered too insignificant an item to mention specifically in an ad, so keep an eye open for these other key words. You might even pick up a few pairs at a garage sale for a buck or two. Jewelry should be kept to a minimum. For a coordinated look, some brides elect to give their bridesmaids matching necklaces as a token of gratitude.

Once all the decisions are made, make a list of the characteristics you’d like the bridesmaids to look for when choosing a gown. Find an example of the dress style you like in a magazine or book to give the ladies some idea of what to look for. Try to provide small color and fabric swatches that the bridesmaids can take with them when selecting a gown. Give the bridesmaids tips on where to look for the best deals. Once they’ve selected a dress, they’ll need to show it to you for approval, so be sure to tell them to ask if the gown is returnable before purchasing it.

Designer bridesmaid dresses from bridal shops are outrageously expensive. Encourage budget-minded bridesmaids to buy off-the-rack dresses that they would wear again. The sales rack at bridal shops may have some options, but even better options are available at discount designer stores or outlet malls. There are even some discount bridal Web sites that might be worth a browse. The best place to shop though by far is formalwear stores immediately following prom season. You can find dresses marked down 75% or more.

If you must have matching dresses, purchase them from shops that will give you a group discount of 20% or more. Consignment shops are another alternative for locating matching gowns, but it may be difficult to find the color and sizes you need. Check with rental stores for gowns. Some carry a nice selection at a fraction of the cost of purchasing dresses.

Bridesmaid dresses do not need to be special ordered. Many of today’s ready-to-wear manufacturers are producing beautiful, flattering gowns in all styles and colors appropriate for a wedding or any number of other occasions. Talk to your bridesmaids and give them the option of buying off-the-rack. They will thank you for it.

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