As tax day, April 17, approaches, we offer some wit and wisdom from the ages.

This is too difficult for a mathematician. — Albert Einstein on filling out his tax return

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin. — Mark Twain

Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. — Ronald Reagan

For every benefit you receive a tax is levied. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

When there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income. — Plato

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. — Will Rogers

We don’t seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business? — Will Rogers

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors . . . and miss. — Robert A. Heinlein

We do not commonly see a tax as a diminution of freedom, and yet it clearly is one. — Herbert Spencer

I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons. — Douglas Adams

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank? — Milton Berle

I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word “fair” in connection with income tax policies. — William F. Buckley, Jr.

A democratic government is the only one in which those who vote for a tax can escape the obligation to pay it. — Alexis de Tocqueville

An income tax form is like a laundry list — either way you lose your shirt. — Fred Allen

Change of fashion is the tax levied by the industry of the poor on the vanity of the rich. — Nicolas Chamfort

The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. — Arthur C. Clarke

Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today. — Herman Wouk

You know, gentlemen, that I do not owe any personal income tax. But nevertheless, I send a small check, now and then, to the Internal Revenue Service out of the kindness of my heart. — David Rockefeller

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. — Judith Viorst

Tax reform means, “Don’t tax you, don’t tax me. Tax that fellow behind the tree.” — Russell B. Long

But I always seem to finish a book and then think, oh God, I’ve got to pay a tax bill, so I’d better write a novel. — Jilly Cooper

On my income tax 1040 it says “Check this box if you are blind.” I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away. — Tom Lehrer

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even. — Will Rogers

I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is I could be just as proud for half of the money. — Arthur Godfrey