Here’s a secret: When Shopping Siren was a mere slip of a shopping girl, she dreamed of becoming a superhero.

It was probably the cool stuff that drew her in first. Wonder Woman’s lasso. Superman’s red cape. Batman’s car. But as she matured, of course, she came to see past all the shiny geegaws to appreciate the true greatness of superheroes:

Their superpowers.

Flying (with a red cape) always topped my wee self’s List of Desired Powers, followed closely by invisibility, enhanced senses and super speed. Mega strength, not so much. It seemed massively inconvenient when, say, opening a door or hugging a kitten.

As an adult, there’s the superhero code to love. With great power comes great responsibility. Protect the innocent. Catch the bad guy even if you have to a) fly really fast, b) break a few buildings/bridges/streets in an altercation and, c) join up with a band of disparate fellow superheroes. 

Kind of like, I don’t know, The Avengers.

A half-dozen superheroes on one big screen starting today? This is where the 5-year-old in me gets ready by draping a blanket over her shoulders like a cape, running around the house and shrieking with excitement.

The adult in me goes shopping.

* Vintage pins, Orphan Annie’s, various prices

On this day I spotted a tiny “Superman-Tim Club” pinback button for $30 and a “Captain Marvel Club” pinback button for $15. Think campaign-like buttons for superheroes. Superman, I’d vote for you! Tim, I have no idea who you are.

* Batman glass mug, Orphan Annie’s, $45

White glass mug decorated with the black Batman logo. Child-sized but thick and heavy, this mug requires a junior superhero (or really buff sidekick) to lift it. Makes me reconsider my earlier stance on mega strength. 

* “Superman IV: The Quest for Peace” DVD, Big Lots, $5

Features Nuclear Man (made from a strand of Superman’s hair) and Jon Cryer as Lex Luthor’s teenage nephew. No, it’s not the best or most famous of the franchise’s movies. However, it is Christopher Reeve’s last Superman film and that makes it worth watching. That and the ’80s hair.

* “Atomic Ace and the Robot Rampage” by Jeff Weigel, Big Lots, $3

Just when you thought you’d heard of all the superheros, here comes Atomic Ace! Known for . . .  doing things and stuff. It was hard to tell exactly what his powers were from this glossy, kid-friendly paperback, but I can tell you Atomic Ace’s archnemesis is called “Roboconqueror” and he heads an army of evil robots. If that doesn’t make you want to read this book, I don’t know what will.  

* Superman or Batman logo wallets, Spencer Gifts, $14.99

In faux leather or denim, these are perfect for protecting your secret identity. Unless your secret identity is Superman or Batman.

* Ladies superhero panties, various sizes, Spencer Gifts, $7.99

In Green Lantern, Wonder Woman and Supergirl. Pair with the ladies superhero camisole-and-shorts sleep set (Wonder Woman, the Hulk, Batgirl) for $24.99 and you’ll have an adult Underoos thing going on. You know you want to.  

* Batman and Superman mugs with capes, Spencer Gifts, $19.99

Beer mugs with little capes attached to them. Uber cool. Or uber geeky. With superheroes, it’s possible to be both.

Best find: Spider-Man children’s swim gear, Big Lots, $15

Comes with webbed Spider-Man gloves for easy dog paddling and a Spider-Man half-mask with inset goggles for seeing underwater. I’m not sure how Spider-Man ties in with swimming (Aquaman, anyone?) but the red gloves and half-mask are too cute to ignore. Any young fan would love this set, and it has the added benefit of allowing you to spot your little one in a crowded pool. Super parent! 

Think twice: About buying only one and furthering the DC Comics/Marvel Comics rivalry

Marvel has Iron Man, Spider-Man and the X-Men. DC has Superman, Wonder Woman and Batman. They’re all super! I refuse to choose! So to that end, I point out the DC Comics and Marvel Comics fleece throws at Spencer Gifts for $22.99 each. Buy both blankets and show that you don’t take sides, either.

In the meantime, I’ll be over here with them draped over my shoulders like a cape. 

Shopping Siren’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (whose power is super hunger) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at [email protected].