Summer with Vultures

When I first saw this headline in Wednesday’s Sun Journal, I thought it was the title of a book by one of our seasonal interns. 

I laughed, I cried, I wore a panty shield

I’m going to just come right out and confess. I actually watched a Lifetime Channel movie the other night from start to finish. Nobody had a gun to my head, either. The movie: “Drew Peterson: Untouchable.” At first I tuned in just to laugh at Rob Lowe’s silly haircut and mustache. But he grabbed me, Lowe did, and I sunk into the couch and watched the whole damn thing. And not just watched it, watched it in the style of your typical Lifetime viewer. I clutched a Kleenex. I ate ice cream, even though it’s going to go straight to my hips. And at every opportunity, I yelled at the screen: “Girl, you gotta leave that man. He’s no good! Why do they stay, Matilda? Why?” I regret nothing. In fact, I’m a better woman for the experience.

Man! I’m a better man for the experience.

From the mouths of babes

Shaw’s in Lewiston, early evening, midweek. A couple and their children are unloading approximately 150 items onto the conveyor in the express lane. Behind them and at nearby registers there are eye-rolls and murmurs, but the couple ignores it all. They just keep piling up their stuff for the clerk to count. They are pros at this and it shows – until their little girl, roughly 6 years old, unleashes her reading skills in glorious fashion.

“Mama. The sign says ‘express lane.'”

Mama ignores her.

“Mama. It says ’10 items or less.’ We’ve got more than 10 items.”

Mama starts to look uneasy but keeps pulling boxes of cereal and jars of sauce from her cart.

“Mama. We have too many things. We’re not supposed to be in this line.”

Mama starts to get red in the face and there are some snickers. (I tried to refrain but found I could not.) Mama and papa are flat out busted. They finally bought the kid off with a candy bar and a couple packs of gum. After which the little girl stood content and quiet, although I swear she was smirking a little.

Bambi and friends

Driving through the Lewiston High School parking lot just after dark on Wednesday, I came upon three deer standing majestically on a grassy hill. I think it’s great that the woodland creatures are furthering their education at night school. But if they were really smart, they’d realize that hunting season is just a week away and that a lot of high school kids don’t drive so well.

The art of Daryn Slover

A further sign of my blossoming womanhood: I really enjoyed Slover’s photo featuring swim lessons at the Bates College pool. There wasn’t much out of the ordinary by way of content – just a young woman and a little girl splashing around in the pool. But their happy smiles and the casual embrace turned the photo into something much greater than the sum of its parts. That’s talent, my friend, and it’s something I’ll never be able to do. You know what I get when I try to take a photo at a public pool? A restraining order.

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