Let’s be clear: Shopping Siren has never been afraid of the dark.

The growly, flappy, fanged things in the dark? Oh, heck yeah.

It’s part of why lights are awesome — no darkness gremlins. You know, that and less tripping over the Dobermans.

So as we sprint to the end of daylight saving time (two weeks!) and as the autumn days get shorter (10 hours and 48 minutes, 46 minutes, 43 minutes . . .) we could all use a little more of that gremlin-warding, dog-seeing illumination.

And, hey, if it comes in the form of a pretty lamp or delicate chandelier, all the better.

* Lane table lamp, T.J. Maxx, $34.99

Sleek, moss-green ceramic base with silver accents and a neutral lampshade. Very goes-with-any-style. Except maybe Gothic. For that you need Valerie Bertinelli.

No, really.

* Valerie Bertinelli table lamp, T.J. Maxx, $29.99

Tall, candlestick-like silver base with splatters of black. Topped by a dark shade decorated with a black velvet flower print. More “Twilight” than “One Day at a Time,” but Bertinelli always has been full of surprises. (Hello, Eddie Van Halen.)

* Nulco pink and white chandelier, Lighting Concepts, $284.99

Small chandelier with pink accents and subtly draped crystals. (Unlike the nearby giant Nulco chandelier for $4,235.99, which includes whole tiers dripping with crystals — unsubtly.) Perfect lighting for a tween or teen’s room. At least until they want to paint their walls black and date young Wolfgang Van Halen.

* Elk Lighting floor lamp, Lighting Concepts, $243.99

Floor lamp — a little over 5 feet tall — with a silver base and white lampshade. The top swivels so you can move the light over here . . . then over there . . . then over here again. For roving darkness gremlins. (Also, it appears no elk were harmed in the making of this lamp.)

* Sterling Industries giraffe table lamp, Lighting Concepts, $88.99

Giraffe body for the base, a tan shade, then the giraffe’s head poking out of the top. Adorable for some kids, nightmare-inducing for others. Light with caution.

* Orange mushroom table lamp, Orphan Annie’s, $350

Small, squat, mushroom shaped. And orange. Also? The orange glass shade is embossed with mushrooms. It does provide an inviting warm glow when you turn it on. So there’s that.

Best find: Flameless LED lantern, T.J. Maxx, $7

Old-school lantern that looks like something Paul Revere might have carried back in the day, except that this one runs on two C batteries and comes with an automatic shut-off. The package bills it as an indoor/outdoor lantern, which means you can set it on your porch to light the way for trick-or-treaters or place it on a desk to give the room a little ambiance. Or take it along as you ride through town warning your neighbors that the British are coming. Your call.

Think twice: About staying in the dark.

Unless you’re with Brad Pitt, Ryan Reynolds or Eddie Van Halen. But I digress.

Generally, those things that go bump in the night? Much less scary under a 40-watt bulb.

Say goodnight, Bliss?

Last week we asked whether Bag Lady and Shopping Siren should pack up their purses and head to the Caribbean for an extended vacation. Since then we’ve received some very kind and touching words from readers — and for that, huge thanks. Also, we love that one reader savors us Friday nights with a glass of wine. (We happen to think we go better with wine AND chocolate, but to each his own.)

So should Bag Lady and Shopping Siren hang up their shopping bags for good? We still want to hear from you. Email baglady@sunjournal.com or shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com, or call 689-2805. We’ll announce the decision next week.

Shopping Siren’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who admit to being the things that go bump in the night, mostly in an attempt to get into the fridge) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com.

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