Furthermore, adult children who had previously moved out of their parents’ homes are increasingly moving back home just to make ends meet. This co-habitation could lead to some conflicts along the way, especially among siblings who faced off against each other while growing up.

Sibling rivalry is a common occurrence among brothers and sisters, but there are ways to keep it in check. What is sibling rivalry? Some siblings grow up as best friends while others seemingly never stop fighting.

There are a number of reasons why they may get into arguments with each other. In many cases, brothers and sisters fight out of jealousy or to compete for a parent’s attention. According to KidsHealth.org, here are some reasons a sibling rivalry may develop.

* Personalities:

Every child has his or her own personality and temperament. This doesn’t always match up with the temperament of a sibling. If one child is easygoing and adventurous and the other child is shy and clingy, this can cause a rift in their ability to play well together.

* Age:

Age can factor in to how siblings get along. A child who is seven years old and a child who is three years old have very different interests and levels of development. They may not be able to share the same toys, and having fun together on an intellectual level is not easily achieved. This can cause bickering and usually fights when the younger sibling wants to emulate the older one.

* Special needs:

A child may have a developmental delay or illness that requires extra attention from Mom and Dad. Other siblings may be jealous of the extra attention their brother or sister could be receiving, even if the attention is justified.

* Learning by example:

Children often take their cues from Mom and Dad. If parents are unable to resolve their differences amicably and tend to blow things out of proportion, siblings may feel like this is the right way to handle their problems as well.

*Stopping the fighting:

Constant bickering and yelling can take its toll on the household, leading to a more stressful environment. Therefore, parents are often eager to put an end to the disagreements as soon as possible. Certain strategies can help relieve sibling rivalries.

* Don’t play favorites.

Never show or tell one child that he or she is a favorite over the other. This can cause a lifelong resentment among siblings and even compromise parents’ relationship with their children. Parents should do their best to share equal time with all children and avoid favoring any of the kids.

* Don’t take sides.

Try not to get involved in disagreements between children. Parents should try to remain neutral, only intervening if there is a chance of danger or physical fighting. By coming to the rescue of a particular child, parents may make it seem like one is protected and exacerbate the rivalry problem.

* Don’t play the blame game.

Siblings are their own instigators, and it takes more than one person to get into a fight. Instead of pointing blame, figure out what consistently causes arguments and try to avoid those situations.

* Resolve things with the kids.

When parents must step in, it’s important not to dole out the punishments and take over. It is imperative to coach children through an argument and help them find their own solutions. Otherwise the kids could always run to their parents to serve as referees.

Parents should help their children develop the skills they need to be able to successfully work through difficulties on their own. 

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