RUMFORD — At times wiping away tears and sniffling, students of Mountain Valley High School were told recently of three real-life experiences with drunken or careless driving.

The assembly in Muskie Auditorium was the second and final day of the program, “Every 15 Minutes,” a national organization whose name was derived from the fact that in the 1990s, someone in the United States died in an alcohol-related traffic accident every 15 minutes.

On Nov. 1, 2014, Jim and Nancy Stanley of Porter lost their 19-year-old son, Andrew, in a car crash near Sacopee Valley High School. It involved three students who had just graduated, as well as a junior.

Present to address the student body were Nancy Stanley and her daughter, Kristen, who is a student at the University of Southern Maine.

Nancy said her son went out bowling late that night with three friends. “There was no drinking involved. It was just a mistake that was made in judgment. The driver in the car decided he wanted to show the other boys how fast this car could go.”

She said she was told the Saab turbo reached 89 mph in a 35-mph zone. “He was coming up over a hill and they lost control and took out two telephone poles and split the Saab right in two.”

“I didn’t get notified until about 7:30 in the morning when Officer (Christina) McAllister, our resource officer at Sacopee Valley High School, came to my house to tell us that Andrew had been killed. When she gave me the news, it was the most horrible thing that anyone could ever go through,” Nancy said.

“As a parent, losing a child is the worst thing that could ever happen to you,” she said. “I will be spending Mother’s Day with my daughter, but there will be some time spent at the cemetery, spending it with my son, also. Since my son, Andrew, won’t be with me on Mother’s Day, I wrote something to him for Mother’s Day. It says, ‘Andrew, today is the most difficult day so far. I will be experiencing extreme pain …”

She stumbled over the words and started again, but acknowledged, “I’m sorry, I can’t read it.”

Her daughter offered to read it, but McAllister approached the podium and said she would read it for her.

It read, “Andrew, today is the most difficult day so far. It will be extremely painful, but so is every other day since I’ve lost you. There is no love greater in this world than our love for each other. There’s a constant void that will never be filled, no matter what anyone else tells you. I don’t miss you today any more than I miss you tomorrow or the next day. Today, Mother’s Day is just another reminder that you are no longer physically with us. I love you and miss you, Andrew. You will always be in my heart. Mom.”

Addressing the students, Nancy said, “If you are driving with passengers in a car, think about what you’re doing. If you’re going to make irrational decisions, make sure you are alone in your car, so that this does not happen to the passengers that are in your car.”

Michelle Cushman is a local community member whose daughter, Rebecca, died in August 2011 in Wisconsin, from injuries sustained as a passenger in a motor vehicle accident involving alcohol. Rebecca was a 2008 graduate of Mountain Valley High School.

“Rebecca’s death has caused a hole in our hearts that will never be filled,” her mother said. “A part of us died with her. There will always be an ache every day to hear her voice, her laugh, see her smile or feel her embrace. Though her death happened three years and nine months ago, the physical and psychological effects, and emotional stress of this reality are very difficult to effectively describe.”

Cushman added, “Her death leaves so many hopes and dreams unfulfilled. She was so young and had so much life to be lived. We have no control of the pain and despair we feel when others her age are enjoying their lives, knowing that Rebecca will never experience these. Planning her wedding, buying her first house, having her own children. They’re milestones we’ll never share again.” 

Trauma surgeon Larry Hopperstead, who has had many interactions with young people in car crashes, also spoke at the assembly.

He said young people do not think as much about the dangers as about the excitement of driving. “You’re not going to learn because your brain hasn’t fully developed into that judgment pattern until well into the years that you’ve been driving.” 

He added, “You need to accept the responsibility. It’s going to require attention to detail. It’s going to require discipline. It is going to require that for you, especially when there are friends or other people in the car, the task for you is to drive safely and get everybody to their end destination. It’s not a joy ride, it’s a purpose.” 

[email protected]