‘Rethinking Auburn’s Downtown’

A headline from Monday’s paper. Yeah, that’s what I do every time I get caught in a string of red lights coming down Court Street. I “rethink” things, using an array of four-letter words to really nail down those thoughts. Trying to get into or out of Auburn some days is like driving on Velcro. Who among us has not sat through three red-light cycles at the Court and Turner streets intersections, wondering if we should just go for it and risk becoming “The Clogger” – the much-hated driver who gets stuck in the intersection in such a way that other travelers, with perfectly green lights, cannot pass through. Boy, when you become “The Clogger” the intensity of those angry glares is enough to char flesh. I’ve heard. Never happened to me personally. I would never!

Great white

So, one of these oceanic beasts has been spotted cruising up and down the East Coast, moving you trendy types to chatter about it on Twitter. You kids with your internets. When the great white killer of 1975 did its thing in Amity, hundreds of people loaded up their rowboats with shotguns, explosives and spears, prepared to do bloody battle with the beast in the name of public safety and big prizes. These days? It’s all done with hash tags. Let’s remember what Quint said about the rise of technology in the final scene of the movie. He said, and I quote, “AAAAAAAARGH! MY LEEEEGS! GAAAAAAAAHHHH! GLUUUUURP!” I think we can all learn something in those words of wisdom.

Sorry

I know that every time somebody mentions “Jaws,” one of the greatest movies in the history of everything, you have that “Show me the way to go home” stuck in your head for the rest of the day. I apologize for bringing it up. But now that we’re all in the same boat here, who wants to drink some beers and show off scars?

Got grass?

For those of you who were in the pool this year, my lawn mower started on the first pull. I believe this means you owe me 50 bucks. All of you. Fifty bucks.

I HEART SSD

Geek talk. I replaced the hard drive in my 6-year-old computer with an SSD and now my machine is so fast, police keep trying to pull it over. Trying. In my view, the SSD is the best thing in technology since that little thumbs-up icon that allows you to end a conversation in Facebook.

Place thumbs-up here

That is all.

Copy the Story Link