I hate waiting

This is the message scrolled on the light signal box at Sabattus and Main streets in Lewiston, where the traffic lights can keep a dude captive for long minutes. This guy apparently had the time to jump out of his car, scribble his message and probably grab a cup of coffee at the nearby Dunkin’ before the light turns green. It’s a frustrating light. Although . . .

. . . it doesn’t compare

to the traffic light at Farwell and Webster streets a few miles away. That light heavily favors Farwell Street, unless you happen to be traveling on Farwell, in which case it favors Webster. They should set up this year’s pyrotechnics there and blow that light right off its pole.

Chris Christie coming to Maine

It would be the greatest irony ever if he got stuck in traffic coming across the bridge in Kittery. Really, man. It’s time for some traffic problems there.

Kerboom

Has anybody noticed that since they legalized fireworks in many places, you actually hear less of them in the weeks leading up to the Fourth? It used to be that in late June, you’d hear more bangs around town than a . . . well, I can’t use that line in this newspaper, but you get my drift. By declaring fireworks perfectly legal, they sucked the fun right out of them.

My charred tooties

By the way, you ever step on a spent sparkler with an unshod foot? That’s living.

Deja vu?

Do I post the sparkler question every Fourth of July? I kind of have the feeling I do. I’m in a rut.

Drones galore

Does anybody remember when a “drone” was simply a name for someone who was intellectually checked out, possibly due to overindulgence in an illegal substance? A drone didn’t fly around peeking in your windows, it mostly just sat there watching “Monty Python’s Flying Circus” and drooling. Good times.

Post this!

I got almost nothing from you people before, when I wanted your photos. But now that the “funky mailboxes” story has run, you are coming out of the woodwork to send in your funny photos. Ha ha, people. You’re a riot. There’s some kind of irony in getting mail photos late.

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