AUBURN — Something was wrong with the pizza, the delivery driver, the time it took for the piping hot pie to arrive, or all three.

Either way, the customer was irate.

He slapped the pizza box out of the delivery driver’s hands and challenged him to a fight, getting so loud that a neighbor called police.

“So we had to go and referee that, send him back into his house and let the pizza man go on his merry way,” said Auburn Lt. Rick Coron of the recent call.

One evening late last month, so many people were fighting in Kennedy Park that Lewiston police had to sweep through the area, clearing the park of people and closing it for a night. Fights spilled onto nearby streets.

Earlier this week, a legislative watchdog group reported there was strong evidence that state money was withdrawn from Good Will-Hinkley, a charter school for at-risk kids, because the school hired Democratic House Speaker Mark Eves to serve as its president. In his lawsuit against Republican Gov. Paul LePage, Eves said the governor cost him the job, acting out of “personal rage, vindictiveness and partisan malice.”

Sometimes it seems like everyone is angry.

“People are frustrated in every walk of life, from the paperboy to the highest level of corporate management,” Barbara St. Jean, 63, of Lewiston, wrote in an email. “In my everyday life here are just a FEW reasons why I get frustrated.”

She listed more than a dozen, including liberalism, bad drivers and people who don’t say thank you.

Experts say anger is normal and healthy. When it becomes all-consuming, that’s a problem.

“There’s an infinite number of ways human beings express their anger. Some good. Some bad,” said national anger expert Ryan Martin. “Some really bad.”

‘Human powder keg’

Anger is easy to find in America right now.

Donald Trump has built his presidential campaign as an angry guy courting angry constituents.

The man who police say shot and killed two journalists in Virginia two weeks ago called himself “a human powder keg.”

Social media is filled with angry posts written by furious people fueled by outraged commenters.

Maine’s own governor is well-known for his public outbursts and heated remarks. 

But are people actually more infuriated now than in years past?

“That’s the million-dollar question,” said Martin, an associate professor of human development and psychology at the University of Wisconsin in Green Bay.

He writes a blog about anger. It’s called All the Rage.

Martin and other experts say there’s no way to accurately gauge whether people today are angrier. There’s just no good assessment.

But Martin does believe that today’s influx of information — from the always-available Internet to the plethora of TV news stations — gives people more “opportunities to feel” than they had a generation ago. That means more opportunities to get mad.

“I’ll give you an example,” Martin said. “This morning when I woke up, the first thing I did was put on my coffee and the second thing I did was pick up my phone and start scrolling through Facebook and Twitter or whatever while my coffee was being made. Contrast that with 10 years ago. I don’t know what I did while I was waiting for my coffee to be made, but it wasn’t that,” he said. “Within five minutes of waking up, I’m being exposed to all sorts of potentially angering — or joyful or whatever — experiences. I’m experiencing all these new opportunities to feel that I didn’t have 10 years ago.” 

If people are angrier, they aren’t acting on it, at least not in a way that would get them arrested. Violent crime rates are down, both in Maine and nationally, including murder and aggravated assault. Both Lewiston and Auburn police say they deal with angry people, but they aren’t seeing more anger now than in years past.

Heat waves can be the temporary exception.

“When temperatures go up, their tempers go up,” said Coron in Auburn.

Everyone’s angry

But despite what crime stats show, many people say they’re angry or they know people who are. They talk about a sense of ever-boiling aggravation. 

In a recent reader query, the Sun Journal asked why people were angry. Responses ranged from America’s dealings with Iran to radio programs being suddenly canceled. There was no common theme.

Paul Boucher, 62, of Auburn, often encounters anger while driving.

“Almost like some people develop this mentality as soon as they sit behind the wheel. Their faces and body language look like they are about to take on the New York Giants or something. Very active self-talk while driving and driving way too fast,” he said in an email.

Boucher likes to flash the peace sign at angry drivers in an effort to calm them down. It doesn’t always work.

“I would prefer to be driving a tank instead of a conventional vehicle,” he said.

Gary David, 70, of Lisbon Falls, sees anger a lot on the Web. 

“I am a person who loves discussions and debate, and have added my comments over the years here and there, including the Sun (Journal). I no longer submit them and never drill down more than a few now,” he said in an email. “It is a breeding ground for hate, and most of it is very obvious. All one has to do is drill down and down and down. The topic always goes off topic, and when that starts all hell breaks loose. A few will try to bring things in line again, but it’s never-ending.”

Richard Fochtmann, 72, of Leeds, believes there are a lot of causes for anger, including politics, politicians and political decisions.

“Anger is happening all over the world and not just in America,” he wrote in an email. “The vast majority are sick and tired of a few politicians or dictators, many vain, egoistic and rapacious, making a mess of the world and setting a bad example for those who would look to them for leadership.”

More than one reader said anger — theirs or others’ — can be wearing. 

“Honestly, I find myself at a loss concerning how easily and overly offended many people get regarding some things,” said Marc Gardner, of Auburn, who sees a lot of anger fueled by social media. “What if I told you that it’s possible to dislike or disagree with something without becoming overtly offended by it? I suppose I’m just being insensitive and I bet my stance might even offend a few people.”

It’s natural

Experts say anger is normal. And necessary.

“Anger isn’t inherently bad. In fact, I believe — I know — it’s inherently good,” Martin said. “Its purpose, from an evolutionary perspective, is to let us know we’ve been wronged and then energize us to confront that injustice.”

Although people get angry over different matters — one finds waiting in line frustrating, another can’t stand hearing “happy holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” — Martin said anger is predictable overall.

People get mad about circumstances they perceive as unfair, unpleasant, avoidable or someone else’s fault. It’s worse when the person is stressed, sleep-deprived or trying to reach a goal.

One classic anger-inducer: your commute to work.

“If you were an evil genius and you wanted to create an angering situation, it would look like driving,” Martin said. “If your goal is getting somewhere, then every stop sign, every stoplight, every slow driver exacerbates that … and then when you add to that you’ve got these unknowns in all the cars (around you). These are people you’ve got no relationship with, people who are just out there on the road, so you can label them in any way you want in your mind and have it be true. A person could be a total idiot, or a total something else.” 

Experts say anger also tends to cover, or be fed by, fear or hurt. Enraged at the traffic in front of you? You may be petrified you’ll lose your job for being late.

“More times than not, anger is a symptom of a larger condition,” said Laurie Cyr-Martel, an instructor in social and behavioral sciences at the University of Southern Maine’s Lewiston-Auburn College.

 Experts say anger isn’t so much the problem; it’s how people handle being angry.

“Do we fix the computer or do we kick it in?” Martin said.

That can be complicated by mental illness, substance abuse and past trauma.  

“We all have different types of abilities to cope with stressful situations,” Cyr-Martel said. “If that individual does not have access to those coping skills, does not have a repertoire of how to cope with situations, it’s probably going to end badly.”

Readers said they handle their own anger in a variety of ways. Some pray. Some walk. Some work to fix what they see as the injustice that made them mad. 

“I still have a problem with shouting, but now it is only at home and, coincidentally, I am seeing a counselor about how to handle that, too,” Fochtmann said. “But with the political situation in this country as it is, I feel like a smoldering volcano. And so, I try to help in campaigns locally — driving candidates, addressing envelopes, etc. It is action on a small level.”

Some admitted they’ve ranted and raged in the past. A few said they still do, if in a contained way.

“When I’m angry I scream, cuss, break something sometimes, but never in front of people, especially someone I love, or I go to the gym,” said Michael Goodwin of Turner, a former corrections officer who said the job taught him to leave his problems at the gate. “Then I talk to someone, maybe my wife since she’s the only friend I have here, or I go to a counselor, preacher.”

Although some people believe the best way to deal with anger is to rage in a safe environment — hit pillows or scream in an empty room — Martin actively discourages that.

“Every piece of data there is says it doesn’t work,” he said. “It just makes them angrier. It just means they’re more likely to do those things when they’re in an actual interaction with someone. The problem is that it feels good. But as we know, just because something feels good doesn’t mean it’s good for you.”

He recommends that people try deep breathing, figure out why they’re feeling angry and come up with a positive solution to change an infuriating situation. He also suggests that people avoid situations that make them mad for no good reason.

“This isn’t a popular position in Green Bay, Wis., but people who find themselves getting too upset about sports, don’t watch the sport,” he said.

Cyr-Martel also recommends that people seek out new coping skills, particularly if their anger feels overwhelming and is affecting their work, relationships or other major parts of their lives. Therapists can often help with those skills.

“Learning coping resources, techniques, skills, is huge. If you’ve never learned them, you don’t know what you don’t know,” she said. 

When someone else is mad, experts say there are things that can make the situation better. And things that can make it worse.

Bad: debating, escalating and retaliating. And, sometimes, placating.

Good: staying calm, apologizing (if you did something wrong and you mean it), leaving the situation if it gets too heated. 

The peace sign Boucher flashes to try to calm ticked-off drivers? Probably not the best idea, Martin said. He suggested a polite wave, mouthing, “I’m sorry,” and trying to stay away from fuming drivers. 

“That’s an environment I try to encourage avoidance, because so much bad can come of an altercation on the road, whether it’s the other person having a weapon or using their car as a weapon. It’s certainly not unheard of,” Martin said.

Not that everyone agrees with Martin.

Earlier this summer, the magazine Psychology Today linked to Martin’s blog post “5 Ways to Deal with Angry People” on its Facebook page.

The response online? Many of the commenters were angry.

ltice@sunjournal.com

What’s with the anger? — Excerpts from Sun Journal readers

The Sun Journal recently asked readers why there’s so much anger. Here are some excerpts. For more, visit sunjournal.com.

“Anger is cheap and easy; and then you see someone else pick up on your anger, support it, magnify it, pass it on; and suddenly you’ve got ego stroking and instant gratification; and that’s all America seems to feed on. Anger gets a strong reaction and lots of attention. That’s the fuel of the social media rage machine. The machine that keeps the clicks happening and the ad revenue pouring in. The thing is, we don’t have to be angry all the time. We have choices.”

— Marc Gardner, Auburn

“People are angry that illegal aliens are getting benefits they have no rights to . . . Americans are angry that we are asked to ‘push 1 for English’ when making a phone call . . . Americans are angry that we can’t say ‘merry Christmas’ in our own country for fear of offending someone . . . People are angry that nowadays trophies are given to every single kid whether they win or lose because ‘heaven forbid, we wouldn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.’ Never mind the fact that these kids will grow up with no work ethic . . . People are not trained nowadays to ever say ‘thank you.’ The phrase they use is ‘Have a good day!’ People are angry they weren’t thanked . . . Most people don’t pay attention to details. You purchase a product only to find that it’s defective, probably because the inspector on that production line was having a bad day and didn’t care enough to stop defective items from being shipped out . . . You listen to the same radio station for years then all of a sudden they have chosen to not carry that program anymore with no explanation . . . You go to doctor’s appointment and the practitioner herds you in and out like cattle and blows you off while you’re there . . . And last but not least, you get the daily newspaper and are directed to page 4 for the lottery. You get to page 4 and lo and behold, there IS NO lottery.”

— Barbara St. Jean, Lewiston

“When we encounter someone with a real bad attitude, it’s important to remember that they could be going through a traumatic life experience. There’s no way to know whether they may have lost someone near to them or may have been diagnosed with a terrible disease. Instead of reacting with anger yourself, try to cut them some slack. They may be in need of a kind word.”

— Mark Armstrong, Lisbon

“Remember it was anger that freed a nation, it was anger that ended slavery, it was anger that brought civil rights to this country and other things.

Then there is bad anger.

I have been angry enough to hurt someone when I lost a job and didn’t think it was right, or hurting that person who harmed a child, or when a person on the road nearly causes me to wreck my car, when the government keeps taking more and more of my hard-earned money and giving to people who have never worked a day in their life or send it to a foreign country. Yes I get angry, but I guess I’m just one of those malcontents that chooses the social media to release my anger and not releasing it on the person or persons I feel has done me wrong or that I feel that justice has not been done. Because I was raised and taught that actions do have consequences and it’s not worth taking a life unless myself or someone else is in danger of losing theirs and that there is other ways to voice your anger.”

— Michael Goodwin, Turner

“We have forgotten who we are towards one another as spiritual beings.

We need greater cooperation instead of competition.

People are overworked instead of being appreciated for their creativity.

We are seduced into thinking that bigger is better and therefore live beyond our means.

A national health care system, living wage and free state-provided university education for all would go a long way to really making us feel free. That to me is ‘The American Dream.’

We are living in a world where the bottom line rules instead of peoples’ needs, (which) should be the bottom line.”

— Lou Giard, Turner

“The real wonder is how much pain it takes before people start to act. Our socialization holds us back, but as the anger builds, that socialization will slowly erode. Once that happens society will be on the road to anarchy.”

— Richard Fochtmann, Leeds

“I just think we’re berated with news 24 hours a day and it’s negative. There’s a lot of crime now and we hear all about it. If it happens in California we hear it here. And I think with politics now, it’s too much too soon. We just finished with the gubernatorial (election) in November and the day after they started on the presidential. It’s just so negative, negative, negative.”

— Carole Richards, Livermore

“Put yourself in the other guy’s place. The person you want to take revenge out on, would that person take their revenge out on you? Instead of taking revenge on them, pray for them.”

— Madeleine LeBlanc, Lewiston

“For the past several years I have especially seen anger in others on the road. Almost like some people develop this mentality as soon as they sit behind the wheel. Their faces and body language look like they are about to take on the New York Giants or something. Very active self-talk while driving, and driving way too fast. At times I have flashed the peace sign and hope that it may help them calm down. I would prefer to be driving a tank instead of a conventional vehicle. I say a little prayer for people on motorcycles every day.”

— Paul Boucher, Auburn

“Over the years one area has raised it’s ugly head, to me, and that is the ‘COMMENTS’ attached to just about every article put out, whether it’s print or online. I am a person who loves discussions and debate and have added my comments over the years here and there, including the Sun (Journal). I no longer submit them and never drill down more than a few now. It is a breeding ground for hate, and most of it is very obvious, all one has to do is drill down and down and down. The topic always goes off topic and when that starts all hell breaks loose. A few will try to bring things in line again but it’s never ending.”

— Gary David, Lisbon Falls

“It’s a complicated question with a simple answer — sin. The solution for our sin can be found in Jesus Christ. . . . Oh, if only we could do what God instructs us to do. God has promised to give us perfect peace if we only keep our minds focused on Him. God can take our anger away.”

— Elizabeth Shaw

Have a problem with anger? Here are resources:

* Maine’s statewide crisis hotline: 1-888-568-1112.

* Your local mental health agency, including Tri-County Mental Health Services at 1-888-304-4673 and Sweetser at 1-800-434-3000.

* Your primary care doctor, who can offer a referral to a counselor.

* The hospital emergency room, especially if you are concerned about hurting someone.

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