Super Lice

Oh, that is just a horrible name for a super hero. But apparently a super strain of head lice are crab-crawling their way across the world of hair. How does one treat a case of Super Lice? It’s the same as with regular lice, but the comb you get in that kit at the drug store is huuuuuge.

Caw me sometime

People keep calling and writing to alert me to huge murders of crows in various areas around the region. I wonder what it is that makes people think of me when they see the ominous black birds on the wing. Am I the Beast Master? Be careful how you answer that, mister. I won’t hesitate to summon my hawk.

What?

Man, my hearing is going bad. I’m like one of those old guys who’s constantly bugging his companion with annoying questions during a movie. “What did she say? She’s in love with who? Dadgummit, why does everybody mumble?” And it’s threatening to have repercussions on the job, too. The other day I was out on assignment with photographer Russ Dillingham when some dude told us he had taken a job installing boat docks. “What’s that you say?” I asked him, turning my ear cone in his direction. “You want to sell me a go-cart?” This could obviously lead to tragic mistakes in my reporting. More importantly, I really wanted a go-cart.

Donald Trump has tiny hands

Does that make it official? Is this the stupidest election ever? If hand size was any indication of a good president, that Hamburger Helper guy would be in the race. Bet he could get the GOP nomination right now, too.

Weeds

I finished all eight seasons of this show in about a week and now I spend all my time humming “Little Boxes” and searching for just one other human being who has seen the series so I can talk about it. Anyone? Anyone at all? Bueller?

That ’70s Show

I also find myself watching this show a lot now that I’ve ditched cable. When the show first aired, I was more or less a Michael Kelso type. Now that a few years have passed, I find that I’m more like Red Foreman, only without the two-acre forehead. Me, I have plenty of hair. I expect the Super Lice to arrive at any time.