Color me impressed

That Eldridge character is at it again. This time he rendered a drawing of me hard at work coloring lovely flowers and designs, complete with that dang tongue hanging out of my mouth. This was a response, I assume, to my recent piece on the joys of coloring. Eldridge’s artwork captures the mood nicely, but come on, man. Why do I have a pencil stuck in my ear? That hasn’t happened since I was in the ninth grade.

Oopsie

Eldridge also sent along several crayons and colored pencils, one of which (I think it’s magenta) got stuck in my ear somehow the other day. Just disregard what I said above.

Ewe and me

I really want to shear a sheep, birth a calf or both. I mean, I don’t WANT to, per se. I’m not some kind of weirdo. I’ve been asked to for the benefit of the B Section. If you are a person who routinely births or shears things, please get in touch with me because I want to watch. There. That sounds better, doesn’t it?

Ice out!

I haven’t heard the usual excitement over it this year. Come to think of it, did we even have an ice-in this winter? And if so, how come the formation of lake ice doesn’t generate the same kind of giddy excitement as the melting of it?

May I be frank?

While roaming up north over the weekend, I came upon a little eatery called the “Touch of Love Hot Dog Stand.” It looked like a nice place, but I’ve got to be honest. The name of the joint didn’t really make me want to eat hot dogs.

Rumors of my demise

Every now and then, a particular line in one of my columns leaves people convinced that I’m: A.) leaving town B.) dead, or C.) not very bright. With the exception of item C, none of these rumors have ever proven accurate. This week, a nice lady called the paper to inquire about my status after yet another obituary reference wormed its way into my Wednesday column. It happens so often, I’ve got to wonder if maybe I AM dead, but I’ve got a “Sixth Sense” Bruce Willis thing going on. Maybe I should start trying to walk through walls to determine whether or not I’m a ghost. If I CAN walk through walls, look out! This is going to be a fun day.

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