Face Time: Tookie Bright — counseling and adventuring await

Caroline “Tookie” Bright is a busy therapist as the youth and family services coordinator at the Patrick Dempsey Center for Cancer Hope & Healing.

She’s also expecting twins in May.

Bright’s got a full plate, but by judging how she balances counseling kids, leading wilderness adventures and handling freak lightning storms, we’re guessing she can roll with about anything.

Name: Tookie Bright

Age: 33

Lives: North Yarmouth

What initially drew you to the Dempsey Center? Divine intervention! When I was attending the University of New England pursuing my master’s of social work degree, I had done my first practicum (eight-month internship) at the Hospice House in Auburn. One week, my supervisor had left on vacation and had encouraged me to visit the Dempsey Center (only 2 years old then) in her absence. At my visit I met the executive director at the time, Kerry Irish, who would end up offering me a placement for my final-year practicum at the Dempsey Center. In this placement I was given the opportunity by Kerry to develop the Healing Tree program and ultimately my own position! I couldn’t be more lucky.

Being a child dealing with cancer is such heavy stuff. How does therapy help to lighten that load? What I do in counseling and the other support services I offer at the Dempsey Center ultimately targets the same goal: supporting and enhancing resiliency. Everyone will experience challenges in life, and for the kids and teens that I work with, this might be their first difficult life event they have experienced. Counseling and professional support helps youth and the parents not only adjust through the difficult experience of cancer, but also helps them come out of it stronger and healthier.

What are your Space to Breathe camps like? AMAZING! I seriously believe that the one week we spend together laughing, being challenged, creating memories and sharing deeply has such a huge impact that it can achieve the same results as a year of weekly counseling support. The transformations are beautiful. When I leave I am usually glowing for months afterwards – it has a unique way of filling my cup and sustaining my passion. (Space to Breathe is a five-day adventure-based program designed for youth caregivers ages 12-18 who have a parent or a sibling living with cancer.)

Favorite woods/camping memory from a past camp: Two years ago, I led a canoe trip on Damariscotta lake. On the very first day of our expedition, we got caught in a massive lightning storm and torrential downpour on our way to our first campsite. We had to get off the lake very quickly at an abandoned cottage and initiated “lightning protocol,” which meant that we all had to sit yards apart from each other on our life jackets as we got dumped on for hours. This was not only scary but also stressful and just down-right uncomfortable for the kids. But they did amazing! Taking the experience moment by moment, offering support to each other and using humor. After we were able to get back on the water it was still downpouring. I’ve never paddled on a lake with water literally popping all around. The beauty combined with an intense mission of getting to our campsite with an amazing group of young people was one of the most memorable experiences I have ever had!

Favorite woods/camping memory from when you were a kid? As a teenager I did several expeditions with Chewonki. One of the experiences that stands out for me was when I was learning to white-water kayak on the Rapid River at age 15. After three weeks of progressing up the rapids from Class 1, we finally had our big day to practice our skills in Class 4 rapids. I was terrified of flipping in such massive swells, and ended up in the midst of the rapid set. After several failed attempts at uprighting myself and scraping my helmet on the rocks below, I was finally able to achieve a roll. Although, I didn’t accomplish my goal of staying upright the whole way, I proved to myself that I was capable of surviving the challenge and brave enough to try.

You’ve got such an awesome nickname. Where’s it come from? My father’s parents, Tookie and Tommy Bright, died suddenly in a plane crash when he was only 14 years old. I am the oldest child in my family and was born two weeks late and right on my grandmother Tookie’s birthday. Although my given name is Caroline, I’ve been called Tookie ever since.

Three things you’re doing to prep for your nearly-here twins? 1) I’ve eaten lots of bagels. 2) Delegated a lot of work to other people for my maternity leave. And, 3) bought myself some fun delivery clothes for my hospital bag.

Think being a therapist will help in being a parent? I think so, but maybe not in the way some people might think. I think the greatest insight that being a child therapist has taught me is to not get caught up in the “shoulds” or judgments of others (comparing myself to other parents or my children to each other/their peers). I’m also trying to be mindful of keeping my expectations fluid and maintaining a sense of trust and flexibility that we will figure out how to be the best parents we can be, even if some days we really suck at it . . . But then again, I’m currently well rested. Check in with me in two months when I’ve lost my sanity and am completely sleep deprived!

kskelton@sunjournal.com