New theory

A woman was arrested last week and charged with running around naked, stealing a car and, later, shouting at random people while wearing a tank top but no pants. It happened in Lewiston, you know, but not THIS Lewiston. Apparently all the weirdness that used to happen here has migrated to Lewiston, Idaho. I tell you, all the cool crazy stuff drained out of this city the very day they changed the turnpike exit number. So, I guess that’s kind of two theories.

Pokemonster

For years, Pokemon was just this bizarre little world off in the backdrop, the domain of nerds and weirdos we rarely encountered. Suddenly it’s Pokeman this and Pokeman that, and people look at you funny if you don’t know what it is. And it’s not just that Pokemon is suddenly everywhere you turn, it’s that it’s also being morphed in a variety of weird ways to fit into the language of our everyday lives. How long will it be before Pokemoms and Pokemoops are out scoring Pokemeth on the streets of Lewiston, Pokemaine? They’ll all have to go to Pokehab for help. (I have a good one in reference to Lewiston prostitution, too, but my editors won’t let me use it. You can figure it out. Just use your Pokemagination.)

Pokemon Go streamers on Twitch are using Vysor

That’s a real sentence I found on the Web. Seriously, are people just making words up now?

Insert smiley face here

My colleague Chris Williams points out an odd thing. At least once a week lately, we review police accident reports wherein some poor fool has driven his or her car into one of the concrete light fixtures in the Walmart parking lot. Without fail, the damage to the car in question is so great, it requires towing. And since parking lot speeds are usually around 10 mph or less, we’re left to wonder: Does Walmart have extra hard barriers made out of some destructive, space-age substance?

The Open

Began on Thursday. I don’t really know what The Open is, although I suspect it has something to do with golf. Golfers think they’re so sophisticated. If they were really dignified, they’d call the event The Ajar.

Please, no petting

At a local convenience store, several customers complained that a shirtless man kept petting them on the back and they didn’t like it. Didn’t like it at all. He also had some kind of cone on his head, apparently. After that, the report just gets weird.

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