Spoiled, spiteful Patriots fans, let that sink in while you walk down to your wine cellar to pick out the right champagne to pop at around 10 p.m. Sunday night. Seven Super Bowls together.

Brady and Belichick. Bradychick. The eternal marriage of quarterback and coach, outlasting countless celebrity mergers and at least two presidential administrations. 

I feel like we should get them something to mark the occasion. A card, maybe a small gift.

My source tells me No. 7 is the wool/copper anniversary. My source also says desk sets are popular gifts for No. 7. Seems appropriate for two of the most studious men football has ever known.

It’s not a very flashy occasion, No. 7, and considering silk (12th) and lace (13th) are still very much in play if Tom Brady plays into his late 40s, I think we could do far worse. But I would feel like a guilty son who buys his parents gift cards to Applebee’s for their anniversary if we didn’t get them more.

But what to get the couple that has everything?

We could get them wool hoodies, but Belichick would cut his up.

We’d get them a cake, but Brady wouldn’t eat it.

Jewelry would be redundant because more often than not Brady and Belichick get the man who brought them together, Robert Kraft, to cough up the equivalent of a year’s salary for most of us to buy them each a gaudy ring.

Maybe after they stand in confetti and paw the Lombardi for the fifth time while talking to Terry Bradshaw, we could have them renew their vows, so to speak.We could have Belichick reenact his press conference in 2001 where he said he was sticking with Brady over Drew Bledsoe.

Maybe we could spring for Belichick and Brady to go to Disney World together when Brady wins MVP, sort of a honeymoon. 

When it comes to football, Belichick and Brady’s relationship is an anachronism. Coaches and quarterbacks don’t last 17 seasons in one place anymore, let alone together. 

Through all of the good times, they’ve managed to keep their egos from clashing. Neither shows any inclination to prove they can succeed without the other.

They’ve emerged from the bumpiest parts of their relationship stronger than ever. Some accused Belichick of throwing Brady under the bus during Deflategate. Some warn Brady that Belichick will dump him as soon as he finds a younger, sexier quarterback.

But Brady still embodies everything Belichick could want in a football player, and Belichick still brings out the best in Brady. 

Ever since the marriage became official with their first Super Bowl and with Belichick shipping Bledsoe up to Buffalo, they’ve been registered in America’s head, first as darlings, now as villains. Outside of New England, everyone is rooting for a divorce, or at least retirement.

Patriots fans, aside from a few who think Belichick should kick Brady to the curb for Jimmy Garoppolo before it’s too late, want to believe they’ll be together forever. We dread the day when they pack up the RV and drive off into the sunset, bound for Canton, Ohio, leaving us to tend to the home they built and will never be the same without them.

Whether or not they win their fifth Super Bowl title Sunday (and they will, 35-27) and whether or not we get to celebrate future Super Bowl appearances, Brady and Belichick have changed the New England Patriots and their fans forever.

It’s virtually impossible for us to thank them for that. Maybe on Sunday night, win or lose, we should just pop the cork, pour a glass and toast one of the greatest marriages sports has ever known and our good fortune in reaping all of its rewards.

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